Dick Pics Are Now a Video Game

Don’t get caught tallywhackin’

Taking naughty selfies is an art form. Getting the right shot and angle of your naughty bits for a saucy dick pic requires a level of skill honed over years of practice. That’s part of why Robert Yang’s PC game Cobra Club is such a neat little toy. Now everyone can get in on the fun — even those without dicks.

Cobra Club gives you a virtual dude to pose as you will in front of bathroom mirror. Armed with Instagram-esque filters, a photo editing tool, and a tallywhacker of your very own to capture in its natural habitat, which apparently happens to be your character’s mom’s bathroom (she knocks on the door sometimes.) You can even control how, erm, long, and strong, and down to get the friction on your digital member is in order for some totally choice pictures.

But it’s not all fun and games after you take enough pictures and start uncovering the truth behind your gallery of trouser snake self-portraits. You’ll have to play the game, which is free, to see what we mean, but it’s well worth the hour or two you’ll probably spend editing your avatar’s downstairs. Trust us on this, and check out the very-NSFW trailer. 

https://player.vimeo.com/video/129132939