When 11 NFL players got bored waiting around for League owners to come to their senses, they blitzed our office, crushed our computers, and spiked our water cooler. Anyone got some Icy Hot?
As the threat of a lockout became an actual lockout, we worried about two things: (1) With no games, will fall be a beer-free, nacho- less wasteland? (2) Do the players have fallback careers? (Diamond-encrusted Bentleys don’t pay for themselves, you know.) So we stayed up all night drinking beer and eating nachos, and when the keg died and the bathroom begged for mercy, inspiration hit: Let’s teach the league’s most exciting maniacs how to be Maxim editors!
So we invited them, they came, and they listened to our career guidance for about seven seconds before pure chaos erupted. Hut, hut, hike!
First order of the day: Destroy this cheap-ass paper welcome banner.
Cleveland Browns wide receiver Josh Cribbs Fett and his Millennium Falcon-size wristwatch.
"I don't understand why the route to the bathroom is so complicated!" -- New England Patriots defensive back Leigh Bodden
Buffalo Bills wide receiver Stevie Johnson draws up a plan for our next issue. "Hot Girls on the Bed." Way to think outside the box, Stevie!
San Diego Chargers outside linebacker Shaun Phillips makes a convincing, Nerf-gun-assisted argument that he should be editor-in-chief.
New England Patriots safety Patrick Chung takes a break from filing. And by "takes a break" we mean "never did a damned thing."
The Maxim cheerleading squad: happy to have real men in the office for once.
The morning production meeting actually went a little smoother than usual.
"Here are those reports you requested."
Seamlessly assuming the responsibilities of a typical Maxim editor.
Executive editor Dan Bova pees himself every morning. The players just gave him a convenient excuse.
"Lockout, schmockout, I was born to do this!" Try taking off the lens cap first.
Maxim gets a lesson in touchdown celebrations; Minnesota Vikings wide receiver Bernard Berrian and Stevie get a lesson in spastic dancing.
Josh copies his signed ball. "You know how much I can get for this on eBay?"
"Ladies, I am trying to work here!" says New York Jets center Nick Mangold, finishing up his panties vs. boy shorts treatise.
Nick and Dwight argue over who the worst actor in this photo is.
Heads. New York Giants defensive end Osi Umenyiora elected to receive...coffee from Shaun.
A few of the players found it hard to be around large objects without turning them into tackling sleds.
...and picking up chicks while they were at it.
Maxim takes "Moonwalk Practice" very seriously.
Five hours later, Nick finally remembered his facebook login.
It was funny till the photographer lost an eye. Then it was really funny.
We’re legally required to point out that absolutely nobody at all was drunk at this point, no siree.
"Let's call it a day," they all said at approximately 2:15 p.m. Way to give 110 percent, guys! Now let's play some ball!
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