48 Hours in New Orleans

For a super-low room rate, check in at this historic spot just a few minutes away from the Superdome. You won’t be spending too much time at your hotel anyway, so save your cash for booze, grub, and babes. And more booze.

Sure, Emeril Lagasse can get irritating on TV, but there’s a reason he’s famous: namely, for serving up the best in Big Easy eats. 

 

Blackjack, roulette, poker, and more! Place your bets at this waterfront casino, and watch out for the roving jazz band. That trom­bone could take out an eye.

 

The two-story, 7,000-square-foot warehouse of dirty dancing is where the just-of-drinking-age hotties head to test out their new spandex minidresses and six-inch heels (away from Mom and Pop’s disapproving eyes) and savvy local shop girls come to circle the VIP banquettes. We approve. 

Ease the pain and the price of cabs—go to the Mari­gny district, and one of the friendly gearheads on staff will set you up with the bike of your choice for $35 a day. Many hotels let you keep them in your room. Just make sure not to spill that go-cup!

Salami, capicola, mortadella, and provo­lone make a fine sandwich. But slather it with a con­coc­tion of veggies, chopped olives, garlic, oil, and vinegar, and you’ve got the muffuletta, a salty stair­way to taste heaven that will ruin every other sandwich you ever eat for the rest of your life.

Grab a seat on the sidewalk and booze it up like Jack Sparrow at this historic hole-in-the-wall.

Jinx the opposing team’s quarterback by violently stabbing him in doll form. Wait, is that weird? Well, everything about this temple to the strange world of Santeria is pretty weird.

 

In this food mecca, few spots can top this French Quarter destination. With ace food, killer cocktails, and a kick-ass atmosphere, it’s the perfect place to charge up for the night.

 

“Was that James Gandolfini I just pissed next to in the bathroom? Wait…I can see now. It was!” The oldest freestanding structure in the U.S., and the oldest bar in New Orleans, is so dark inside, day or night, that you’ll be squinting like a vampire when you leave. 

 

Like dive bars, flesh factories are abundant in the Cres­cent City, ranging from the sexy to the scary. Rick’s is fully stocked with smoking gals. You may never leave. 

 

 

Today’s the day, and you’re going to need your energy. So hit up this Big Easy institution for a jazz brunch. Opened in 1880, it evokes the spirit of old New Orleans like few other places, so be sure to load up on gumbo, turtle soup, pork belly and eggs, barbecued shrimp and grits, and biscuits, and wash it down with a pitcher of bloody Marys as the Dixieland jazz band rocks the house.

 

This maze of collapsing, decrepit mausoleums and tombs is scary as bejesus during the day and completely freaky-deaky come dusk. (But it’s the real-life muggers, not the ghost of some yellow fever victim, that visitors should be wary of.)

 

More like a Wild West saloon than a traditional sports bar, Cooter Brown’s nonetheless has more TV screens per square inch than anywhere else in the city. Add the 400-

plus beers, fresh oysters, boiled crawfish, po-boys, and the lovely local ladies, and you may just miss kick off.