The handsome, hilarious Parks and Recreation star gets serious on his last day.
You’ve just published an autobiography, Stories I Only Tell My Friends. Do you have any deathbed confessions?
No, but circle back in another 60 years or so.
Will you be going to heaven or hell?
Both. I have an all-access pass.
You were on The West Wing. What deceased persons would you most like to “walk and talk” with in the afterlife?
Lincoln. Ayn Rand. Grace Kelly. (OK, I don’t want to just walk with her.)
Your character on Brothers & Sisters was killed off in a car crash. How would you like
In a big bed, with my wife and boys around me, watching football and petting our Jack Russells.
You were “Number 2” in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, where you played a younger version of Robert Wagner. Who would you like to play you in the movie about your life?
Daniel Day-Lewis or Justin Bieber.
The producers of Parks and Recreation promised a lot of jokes about your good looks. What physical feature would you most like to be remembered for?
My third nipple—it’s shaped like the state of Rhode Island.
You got Wayne and Garth to sell out in Wayne’s World. When in your life did you sell out the most?
Doing this interview.
You played a Republican senator on Brothers & Sisters before playing an auditor on Parks and Recreation. Which of these careers do you think is more likely to land you in hell?
It is possible that state auditor Chris Traeger will go to hell. But he’ll find a way to love it!
On Parks and Recreation, it’s your job to evaluate the town’s funds. What have you wasted most of your own money on throughout your lifetime?
Starbucks and Dubble Bubble.
Was there anyone on Earth you wanted to punch in the face?
Yes, and I have. It was when I was a kid. Don’t let looks fool you. I may have looked like Nureyev, but I hit like Thomas Hearns.
Name one thing you’re glad you’ll never have to do again on Earth.
Fly on an airplane after they’ve taken my good money.
What woman did you always want to sleep with?
Margaret Tutwiler [former undersecretary for public diplomacy and public affairs at the U.S. State Department].
What are people saying over your casket?
“After Dr. Vegas, I thought nothing could kill him!”
Got any last words?
Read the book!
Visit Rob Lowe's website here.