10 Bloodiest Shows on TV
Rated TV-M for Totally Violent Murder.
Rated TV-M for Totally Violent – Murder.
While movies are lowering the body and blood count the red stuff runs freely on the small screen. And with the March 6th Blu-ray and DVD release of Game of Thrones: The Complete First Season, your TV screen is going to scream in glorious, violent agony. If that’s not enough, here’s our list of the ten bloodiest shows on TV.
Why It’s So Bloody? Spartacus takes place during the time when gladiators battled for their lives in the huge Colosseum. You’re going to see highly stylized, slow motion, bloody battles every week and you’re going to love it.
Bloodiest Moment? Nearly every episode has a moment worthy of this distinction, but we’ll go ahead and say the moment when Ixion cuts off Kerza’s face in The Pit and holds it up as a trophy. (Spartacus: Blood and Sand, Season 1, Episode 4.) For more bloody fun, here’s our interview with star Liam McIntyre.
Need a Transfusion? No. The computer-generated blood and gore in the Spartacus series is one of the things that makes the show work so well. Plus, it’s hard to show a bloodless beheading, right?
Why It’s So Bloody? It’s a show about a blood-spatter analyst who’s also a serial killer who kills other serial killers (and generally bad dudes) and chops them up into itty bits. Prepare to see blood in each and every episode.
Bloodiest Moment? Season 1, Episode 10 (“Seeing Red”). The Ice Truck Killer leaves Dexter a blood-filled room that brings back some chilling memories for the serial killer. So bad, in fact, that Dexter slips in the slippery redness.
Need a Transfusion? Yes. While we’re on the fence about this one, the general consensus is Dexter needs something drastic to bounce back from the last few lackluster seasons. Maybe a little less blood and some worthy adversaries would get Dex on track.
GAME OF THRONES
Why It’s So Bloody? Imagine The Lord of the Rings without Gollum, the ring, or any conscience whatsoever. Game of Thrones is an epic show based on an epics series of books where anyone can die at any time. There are beheadings, blood-soaked battles, and zombie-like creatures lurking behind The Wall.
Bloodiest Moment? Danaerys Targaryen eats an entire horse heart during a Dothraki ceremony. Meanwhile, in Middle-earth, Frodo smelled a tulip and thought about clouds.
Need a Transfusion? No. Game of Thrones is everything you’ve ever wanted in a very adult medieval fantasy series. Winter can’t come soon enough…
AMERICAN HORROR STORY
Why It’s So Bloody? American Horror Story is, essentially, a forty-two minute horror movie every week. Murders and ghosts and sex with freaky rubber-suited-men abound.
Bloodiest Moment? Many great moments from season one could qualify, but the birth of Vivien’s demon baby (and not-so-birth of the normal baby) takes the top spot for bloodletting.
Need a Transfusion? No. The sex, blood, and horrific elements are what make American Horror Story such a compelling show. We could, though, use less of that whiney brat Tate next season. Hopefully show creator Ryan Murphy wasn’t kidding when he said season two will be a completely new story.
Why It’s So Bloody? Well, we’re stretching it a little when we say “bloody” for a show like Bones. It’s more gross-out icky and gory. What makes it worse is that your lovely grandma probably loves the show. Every week’s dead body discovery seems to get more and more sickening. It’s gag-inducingly good.
Bloodiest Moment? So many disgusting moments spread over Bones seven seasons, but nothing grosses out quite like the Body Farm scene in “The Feet on the Beach” (Season 6, Episode 17). There were so many randomly exploding corpses that Booth had to bring an umbrella with him. “It’s Raining Men!” indeed.
Need a Transfusion? No. We love our Bones just the way it is. If Dr. Brennan can keep it together as she digs through a rotting corpse, so can we.
Why It’s So Bloody? The Winchester brothers are constantly battling the most evil beings on the planet (including Satan himself for a few seasons). You have to expect there to be significant carnage involved.
Bloodiest Moment? During the sixth episode of season one (“Skin”), a Shapeshifter that assumed Dean Winchester’s identity finally sheds his skin…horrifically.
Need a Transfusion? No. Whenever anyone questions the horror aspects of Supernatural, or says the show has “gone soft,” just show them this skin shedding scene. That’s what we love about this show. Plus, it has the tendency to be funny too.
Why It’s So Bloody?True Blood is all about blood. Vamps need to consume it to survive. People in Bon Temps want to drink it because it gives them super powers. And various murderous intentions keep bringing the red stuff to the surface.
Bloodiest Moment? Every time a vampire meets the “true death” they explode into a pool of ooey, gooey blood and guts. It reminds us of the inside of our microwave after we make a bowl of pasta sauce and Silly Putty.
Need a Transfusion? Yes. We want more non-Sookie sex, blood, and vampy goodness. Hearts and throats being ripped out just isn’t enough. Spread the red!
1000 WAYS TO DIE
Why It’s So Bloody? Take the most bizarre and awful ways to bite it, recreate them in the most ridiculously gory over-the-top way possible, and add in a comedic, insensitive voice over. That’s 1,000 Ways To Die in a nutshell. A very bloody, hilarious nutshell.
Bloodiest Moment? What happens when a hot chick’s enormous implants begin swell and, ultimately, explode aboard an airplane? Everyone in the general vicinity gets soaked in blood and guts. And now you know! This is like Bill Nye the Science Guy for the horror fans. Click here for a better quality look at the complete clip, sicko.
Need a Transfusion? No. If it weren’t for the exaggerated bloody special effects and sarcastic tone, the show probably wouldn’t even exist.
SONS OF ANARCHY
Why It’s So Bloody? Motorcycle gangs like three things: Bloody gun battles. Bloody bare-fisted beatings. And (presumably) Batman, because who doesn’t love Batman?
Bloodiest Moment? While it might not be the bloodiest moment on Sons of Anarchy, it’s easily the most disturbing we’ve seen on television in a long time. In the second season premiere (“Albification” – Season 2, Episode 1), Gemma (Katey Sagal) is raped and beaten by a white supremacist group. Absolutely horrifying.
Need a Transfusion? No. You don’t win Golden Globes by having too much bloodshed in your show, do you?
THE WALKING DEAD
Why It’s So Bloody? Surviving during the Zombie Apocalypse is dirty, bloody business and survival is the name of the game in The Walking Dead. Look out for zombie beheadings, gun blasts to the head, and knives driven directly into some zombie skulls often resulting in a glorious geyser of blood.
Bloodiest Moment? A zombie that’s been rotting away at the bottom of a well splits in half as Rick and the gang try to remove it. Don’t drink the water!
Need a Transfusion? Yes. Not because there’s too much blood, but because we demand even more undead destruction. The beginning of season two followed the search for a missing little girl for way too long when we could have seen a heaping of zombie mayhem. And why is everyone on the show acting like an idiot? Smarten up, people!