10 Events That Will Probably Happen Before Mayweather vs. Pacquiao

Let the brinksmanship continue!

Sadly – if predictably –  prospects appear to be rapidly dimming for the proposed May 2 showdown between Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao. While Pacquiao promoter Bob Arum says the Filipino icon has agreed to the terms of a May 2 pay-per-view superfight, there’s been no response from Mayweather’s camp for weeks. In the meantime, Pacquiao is reportedly in talks for a “Plan B” fight against Amir Khan, while Mayweather is rumored to be considering moving up to middleweight to fight Miguel Cotto, who he already beat in 2012. HBO has such little faith in Mayweather-Pacquiao happening May 2 that it’s planning on airing Canelo Alvarez vs. James Kirkland that night. 

The only thing’s that’s certain is this: The never-ending brinksmanship between boxing’s two biggest stars has reached peak ridiculousness.

In the spirit of devolving negotiations, here is Maxim’s list of ten events that seem more likely to happen in 2015 than a Pacquiao-Mayweather punch out. 

1) Kim Kardashian quits all her social media accounts and permanently disables the camera on her iPhone.

2) Beyonce challenges number-one critic Mike Huckabee to a onesie-clad dance off to “Drunk in Love.” Jay Z scores it a tie.

3) Pro-pot legalization GOP presidential contender Rand Paul and pro-munchies rival Chris Christie join forces and announce that they’re forming a coalition.

4) The internet commentariat unanimously agrees that “American Sniper” is neither jingoistic war porn nor the greatest goddamn movie ever filmed.

5) The suspiciously orange clump of hair-like matter on Donald Trump’s head is fired from “Celebrity Apprentice” for not working well with the rest of his face.

6) The Motion Picture Academy submits a last-minute Oscar nominee for Best Actor: Kevin Hart in Ride Along.

7) Instead of threatening to behead another innocent hostage, ISIS posts a video on Upworthy encouraging political cartoonists to express themselves through satire. 

8) Filled with regret after getting dumped by Maxim cover goddess Irina Shaykfor allegedly cheating on her, soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo puts on weight.

9) Jeb Bush gives a speech about how he always wanted to be exactly like his older brother.

10) Mayweather signs the damn contract to fight Pacquiao. 

Follow Maxim Editor-at-Large Chris Wilson at @iamchriswilson

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