10 Insane Movie Cars We’d Kill to Drive
Sometimes, the need for speed just isn’t enough.
With all due respect to Jason Statham, Vin Diesel, or any other bald gearhead pumping nitrous directly into his femoral artery on the big screen, sometimes a well-tuned muscle car just isn’t enough to get us out of our seats. There’s no shortage of fast cars we’d love to drive, but when it comes to vehicles we’d actually commit murder to get a hold of, we’re looking for something that goes that extra mile. These are the insane, ridiculous, and thoroughly impractical cars we’d do anything to drive…anything…
10. Frankenstein’s Dragon Car (Death Race 2000)
Photo: Walt Disney Pictures | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Essentially a Corvette that crashed through a Halloween Express, this is the kind of vehicle that commands respect. In fact, if you can’t see this thing coming from a mile away, you deserve to be impaled on its bumper teeth. And what other vehicle lets you cruise an S&M club and a Ren Faire with such ease? (Besides you Uncle’s unicycle.)
9. The Lexus 2054 (Minority Report)
Photo: 20th Century Fox | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
This car-of-the-future almost doesn’t qualify as a car we’d kill to drive, because it’s more accurate to say it’s a car we’d kill to let drive us. This self-contained luxury vehicle not only handles the driving duties, it can take dinner orders and even select music based on our mood (“Wow, we are feeling suicidal this morning, car. Good call on the Nickelback”). It’s not only a cinch to replace our current car, it could make a strong case for replacing our girlfriend.
8. Light Cycle/Light Buggy/Light Fliers (Tron: Legacy)
Photo: Walt Disney Pictures | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Somewhere, deep inside your iMac, Jeff Bridges is taking something that looks like a cattle prod and using it to create complex vehicles that look like raver glo-sticks. And we want in on it. Not only is parking a thing of the past, but we want to experience the rush of driving something crafted entirely out of black lights, vodka Red Bulls, and Daft Punk’s daydreams.
7. The Super SUV (Tango and Cash)
Photo: Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
There’s only one way to drive an SUV these days without feeling like a soccer mom and that’s to have a squirrely, junior varsity Q outfit it with weaponry powerful enough to blast through anything (brick walls, tanks, the homoerotic tension between Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell). We want to take this thing on a decimating rampage and then try and parallel park it in front of a Starbucks.
6. The Shaggin’ Wagon (Dumb & Dumber)
Photo: New Line Cinema | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
If you can sit there and say you’ve never once dreamed of driving a car that looked like a beagle, you are a liar. Stop lying, liar.
5. The Mach 6 (Speed Racer)
Photo: Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Yes, the Mach 6. Sure, the 5 is the more iconic car, but we want the next level upgrade because of its hydraulic “auto-jacks.” Who doesn’t want a car that’s got more ups than Dwayne Wade? The next time we pull up to a stoplight alongside a bouncing low-rider, we’ll see their funny car hops and raise it a full mid-air flip.
4. Jet Car (The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension)
Photo: 20th Century Fox | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Because, quite simply, we need a car that can go so fast it can actually pass through solid matter. Don’t ask why, we just need it. Of course, the odds of coming out the other side with an alien organism attached to your bumper is high, but those are the risks we’re willing to take to avoid traffic and brick walls. Plus, saying you need to tweak the “oscillation overthruster” never stops being fun.
3. Bumblebee (Transformers)
Photo: Paramount Pictures | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
The perfect marriage of a muscle car and an R2 unit, there is no limit to Bumblebee’s usefulness. Just think of it: How many other cars look cool enough to stoke the jealous ire of a Jersey shore meathead and can get your back when the inevitable fist fight breaks out? Bumblebee is also the one Autobot who doesn’t speak, which cuts down on his annoying factor considerably.
2. The Delorean (Back to the Future)
Photo: Universal Pictures | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
The hard-partying man’s best friend. You can pull this sleek and exotic number up to any club or bar and get the red carpet treatment. Then you can fire it up to 88 mph and go back in time to undo all the damage you did to your body, your soul, and the laws of nature. It’s the automotive equivalent of the erasable ink pen. Not to mention you can totally cockblock your past self, which makes you a +10 level troll.
1. The Tumbler/Batpod (The Dark Knight)
Photo: Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc. | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012
Throughout the years, the Batmobile has been the ultimate dream car. But think about it – most of them look like limos designed by Edward Gorey. If you want to drive a goth funny car, have at it, but the “Dark Knight” showed us a Bat car that would make the previous incarnations weep away their black eye liner. Big, mean, and loaded with an equally badass motorcycle, the Tumbler crushes entire cities under its treads. The only thing that could make it better is if it could fly. Oh…wait.Never mind.
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