11 Movies That Would Be Better With An R-Rating

Adding blood, sex and swearing isn’t always an upgrade, but when it comes to these PG-13 rated films, it wouldn’t hurt.

When the first Expendables movie got its R-rating, we all breathed a collective sigh of relief. For The Expendables 2, however, the greatest cast of action stars ever assembled have been saddled with a wimpy PG-13 rating. Perhaps a title change to The Adorables is in order.

The whole thing just feels wrong, but it’s not the first time a film has suffered for the sake of grabbing the allowance money from 15-year-olds. Here’s a list of movies that didn’t get the sex, violence and wonderful swear words that they deserved.

Terminator: Salvation

There was quite a battle between director McG and the studio about the need for a PG-13 rating for the latest Terminator flick. In the end, McG lost and, for the most part, so did we.

(Photo Credit: Warner Home Video, Buy it at Amazon)

Live Free or Die Hard

The unrated version was a thousand times better, but it never made it to the theater and still hasn’t even gotten a Blu-ray release. Without John McClane’s foul mouth, the fourth flick almost didn’t feel like part of the franchise. Justin Long’s dopey face is a poor substitute for the F-bomb.


(Photo Credit: 20th Century Fox, Buy it at Amazon)

The Ring (and Every Horror Movie Ever)

Be they Japanese, American, original, or remake, horror movies should be rated R. When studios tone down slasher flicks, we miss out on gratuitous nudity and over-the-top gore of days past. What are we left with? Loud noises, spooky shadows and people yelling, “Oh darn, a ghost!”


(Photo Credit: DreamWorks, Buy it at Amazon)

Taken

Revenge flicks are great because the plot totally justifies as much violence as the viewers’ eyeballs can handle. But, the American version of Taken had to be edited, ever so slightly (it happens during a torture scene near the end), to make it PG-13. Seems to us that a guy who’s willing to drive an SUV through a shady brothel wouldn’t shy away from a few F-bombs and throat slashes.


(Photo Credit: 20th Century Fox, Buy it at Amazon)

Lakeview Terrace(and Every Samuel L. Jackson Movie)

A Sam Jackson movie just isn’t the same unless he’s calling people motherf%ckers every five seconds. The same rule applies for the films of Joe Pesci and Kevin Costner.


(Photo Credit: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment, Buy it at Amazon)

AVP: Alien vs. Predator

Both Alien and Predator franchises carried their R-ratings into the hearts of action/sci-fi fans. But when the two met for the first time, they did it in a PG-13 cop-out that seemed more determined to sell action figures than make a movie worthy of either franchise. The follow-up, Alien Vs. Predator: Requiem, got an R-rating, but it was too late. Also, the poster made it look like the Alien and Predator were going to kiss.


(Photo Credit: 20th Century Fox, Buy it at Amazon)

The Transporter

Jason Statham hasn’t met an action movie he didn’t like, but the R-rated ones usually turn out a little more entertaining. Plus, swear words sound so cool in that accent of his. (Is he Australian or Canadian? So hard to tell!)


(Photo Credit: 20th Century Fox, Buy it at Amazon)

Year One

You probably don’t remember this Jack Black/Michael Cera buddy comedy, but that’s for the best.  We know Black is capable of all kinds of raunchy greatness, but both he and his baby-faced co-star had to hold back to earn that PG-13. The result is a forgettable comedy-by-committee with about as many laughs as 10,000 B.C. You don’t remember that movie either? It’s the one about the past, and then John Cusack flies the plane onto the giant arks…with the aliens. Right?

(Photo Credit: Sony Pictures Home Entertainment, Buy it at Amazon)

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

We’re hesitant to mess with a movie that’s already pretty great. But, with an R-rating, all of those overused quotes could’ve taken it up another notch. Need proof? Just re-watch Step Brothers. But, whatever you do, don’t re-watch Talladega Nights. There’s no amount of cursing or toplessness that could’ve saved that thing.

(Photo Credit: DreamWorks; Buy it at Amazon)

Sucker Punch

Zack Snyder’s epic is basically a collection of music videos filled with cartoonish violence and attractive actresses acting like strippers. It had the potential to be the very reason God invented eyeballs. But, rather than going all out and fully embracing the kiss kiss bang bang attitude, like Snyder did in Watchmen, 300 and Dawn of the Dead, Sucker Punch turns down the volume on the violence and sexiness enough that they won’t have to cut it much when it makes its TNT debut. In fact, they may need to add some raunch to get it on TNT or else they’ll have to ship it over to Nick Toons.

(Photo Credit: Warner, Buy it at Amazon)

Cloverfield

Forget that it’s a horror movie, which gets it an automatic spot on our list. But, it takes place in New York where people swear while checking out a book at the library. Throw a giant monster in the mix and every little kid in the tri-state area would need earmuffs.

(Photo Credit: Paramount, Buy it at Amazon)