The 12 Dumbest Athlete Arrests

From Shaun White to OJ Simpson, the sports world’s worst criminals.

You probably ready about how Shaun White was arrested last month for being a complete drunken ass at a hotel in Nashville. But White’s not the only athlete to get busted for doing something stupid; here are a few other millionaire morons who just couldn’t avoid 5-0.

1.Darius Miles – NBA

Miles was supposed to be a big star coming into the Association out of high school, but unfortunately for him, it didn’t really work out that way. He never really put any effort into shit, and ended up bouncing around. The final straw came when he was booked for having a loaded gun on him at the airport. That’s dumb enough, but the fact that it was in his goddamn suitcase? Come on, man.

2.Dion Lewis – NFL

Like Shaun White, Lewis was arrested for pulling a fire alarm at a Hampton Inn. We realize that Lewis is young and hasn’t established himself yet, but our first question is, why the hell is dude staying at a Hampton Inn? The second question would be, what was he sipping on that led him to pull the alarm, ‘cause if he wasn’t extremely messed up, this is just sad.

3.OJ Simpson – NFL

OJ done really fucked up. Not only did he have that minor incident involving a couple murders—for which, as we know, he was acquitted—but when he was given a second chance, he still managed to fuck it up. Booked for robbery, he apparently attempted to retrieve sports memorabilia he alleged had been stolen from him. Instead of politely asking for it back, or maybe even taking the guy to court, instead OJ stormed in there with a shotgun. Needless to say, the Juice was finally squeezed into a prison cell. But apparently he hasn’t learned his lesson: He’s reportedly trying to sell a knife that bears a striking resemblance to the one believed to have been used in the murders for $5 million.

4. Eugene Robinson – NFL

I think we can all agree that the Super Bowl’s a pretty big deal. Athletes work their asses off to get there, and most are smart enough to cherish every second of it if and when they do. Robinson had already played in the previous two big games with the Packers, so it must have been old hat for him. That’s the only explanation for how he was arrested the night before kickoff, for soliciting a prostitute who turned out to be an undercover cop. Hate when that happens. The best part was how his Falcons teammates defended him, admitting that other guys did it too, but he just happened to be the one who got caught.

5. Pat McAfee – NFL

One of our absolute favorite athlete arrests in history, the Colts punter was caught drunk-swimming in a canal one Saturday night. When coppers approached him to ask why he was wet, he lied, proclaiming, “It was raining.” When asked how much he’d had to drink, he replied, “A lot, ’cause I’m drunk.” Dude blew a .15, and spent the night in jail. Nicely played, sir.

6. Mike Leake – MLB

Mike Leake was making $425,000 a year when he got caught stealing six American Rag T-shirts in a Macy’s in 2011. Total value of those shirts: $59.88. So yes, each shirt was worth less than $10. Despite the fact that he earns hundreds of thousands for a dream job as a pro athlete, he thought a five-finger discount on a few cheap shirts was a worthwhile undertaking. Fucking moron.

7. Nate Newton – NFL

Photo by US Presswire

Newton was busted with 175 pounds of pot in his truck in December, 2001. That’s pretty fucking crazy to begin with, but once you find out that he was already out on bail after being busted with 213 pounds a month earlier, then it’s really fucking insane. Maybe it was all for medical purposes? But even if you have a raging case of glaucoma (we do!), that seems like an awful lot of weed.

8. Ryan O’Byrne – NHL

When you’re a pro athlete, you can get almost anything you want. So when NHL player Ryan O’Byrne was caught stealing a chick’s purse and cell phone in a Tampa nightclub, it’s kind of perplexing. We know guys who routinely reach into girls’ purses to drop their number in there, so maybe O’Byrne was just trying to do that, but forgot, and stole her shit instead?

9. Sam Hurd – NFL

Have you “Hurd” the one about the NFL wide receiver who told an FBI informant that he was interested in snagging “five to 10 kilos of coke, and 1,000 pounds of weed per week” to push around the streets of Chicago? No? Well, now you have. Looks like the gloves those receivers wear weren’t sticky-icky enough for him.

10. Ryan Leaf – NFL

Leaf was caught a couple days after posting bail (on similar charges) for trashing a house and stealing prescription drugs. In court, he told the judge, “I’m lazy and dishonest and selfish.” Well, apparently he’s at least a little bit honest. Can you believe the Colts really considered taking this dude over Peyton Manning in the draft?

11. Carrie Moore – Assistant Women’s Basketball Coach

Nothing satisfies a drunk-ass more than some fast food, so there was nothing remarkable about Creighton’s women’s assistant coach Carrie Moore heading for a late-night snack after a few brews. Problem was, she turned the drive-thru into her bedroom, passing out before she could get her food. What a waste of chicken nuggs and McDoubles!

12. Cody Jamieson, Sid Smith, Travis Hill, Jordan Hall and Tyler Burton – Rochester Knighthawks Lacrosse

Lacrosse bros are insane, partying harder than almost anyone. So it might not be a huge surprise to hear that five pro lax players got so drunk, they started throwing plates and shit in a Minnesota TGI Friday’s. Naturally, no one else thought it was cool, and dudes got arrested for their little tantrum. We’re just glad that shit did not literally hit the fan.

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