The 2013 NFL Big 5: Week 1

Send your kids to the park and put the pizza guy on notice: Football is back!

The first new NFL week is here and with it comes chaos. Fortunately, Maxim is here to help you navigate these uncharted waters with five predictions that will undoubtedly (or just maybe) come true.

(Photo: Getty Images | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013)

Big Upset – Minnesota over Detroit

Minnesota starts the year in a position they are pretty used to, being 5.5 points in the hole to a divisional rival. But the Vikings, who signed a solid backup in Matt Cassel after getting their shit pushed in Wild Card round, are a lot stronger than they are generally given credit for. Joe Webb has since moved to WR (because, versatility) and Adrian Peterson has been oiling up his robot legs, because if anyone could make Ndamukong Suh cry, it’s AD.

Big Performance – Danny Amendola

Scrappy white guy in a Gronk-less and Welker-less Belichick offense against Buffalo? That’s money in the bank. I’d be surprised if Brady and Amendola don’t already have a secret handshake and each other’s letterman jackets. If you don’t have him on your fantasy team, then you’re doing it wrong.

Big Flop – Joe Flacco

The Super Bowl champs begin their campaign at Denver, against a team that came very close to knocking them off last season. Flacco, who was showered with riches in the offseason, has to start the season on the road because the Orioles refused to give up the stadium on Thursday on their hugely exciting campaign to not finish last in the AL East. Going into Denver’s house, after having your face plastered all over it, and dismissing them from the postseason last year? Von Miller or not, this Broncos team will make themselves known.

Big Storyline – Sophomore Slump

Three rookie quarterbacks – Andrew Luck, Russell Wilson, and RGIII – all put up insane numbers last season and brought their teams into the playoffs. Yet another rookie, Colin Kaepernick, came within one borderline no-call away from winning it. Rookie backs weren’t shy about getting in on the action either: Trent Richardson was the brightest part of another Cleveland-esque Browns season and Doug Martin rushed for 251 yards and 4 touchdowns in week 9. No class in recent memory has brought so much talent. So is the this future of the league, or will these young’uns come back down to earth?

Big Stinker

No stinkers in week one! Football is back!

Check out George R.R. Martin’s Fantasy Football Preview and our ball boy tryout at the US Open