2014 Winter Olympics Drinking Games

Follow these boozy rules to make the Olympics less boring and more blurry.

1. Take a drink every time a snowboarder says “stoked” in an interview.

2. Take two drinks every time someone unsuccessfully tries to explain the origins of the Biathlon. 

3. Take a shot of Jager every time you see a German speedskater’s moose knuckle.

4. Take a drink every time the narrator in the competitor profile segments uses the words “inspiring,” “tragedy”, “triumph” or “against all odds.”

5. Take a drink every time you see an umlaut in an athlete’s name.

6. Shotgun a beer when Bob Costas humble-brags about being at the last nine Olympics.

7. Take two drinks every time a competitor dedicates his/her performance to a dying/recently deceased relative.

8. Finish your drink every time an announcer makes a Cool Runnings reference during the bobsled competition. 

9. Do a keg stand every time a ski jumper winds up headfirst in a snowdrift.

10. Drink as fast as humanly possibly every time it cuts back to the curling. 

11. Take a drink every time someone does a sport that involves sliding in some way (warning: You will be dead within 20 minutes).

12. Take a drink every time a commentator talks about the lack of snow Russia got this winter, and marvels at how much snow the US has gotten.

13. Take a drink every time someone walking past your house does a far more impressive – albeit accidental – triple lutz on the icy sidewalk than anyone competing in the figure skating.

14. Chug a glass of red wine every time a proud parent has a human interest piece.

15. Do a shot of whisky every time Bob Costas mentions the medal count. 

16. Take a knee and a sip every time someone has a crash or fall… womp. It happens.