4 Sports Franchises Less Film-Worthy Than The Cleveland Browns
With the terrible team starring in the new movie Draft Day, here are some teams that would be even worse to watch for two hours.
The Lions are the only NFL team to own a 0-16 season, and that’s something even the Browns can’t touch. With no championships in the Super Bowl era and the age of Barry Sanders way gone (this is their most notorious player now), things look bleak for the Lions. Megatron is the only bright spot in the Lions’ lineup, but without a running game or a great quarterback, Detroit will likely continue to play second fiddle to the Packers and Bears.
Beginning their life as the new incarnation of the Winnipeg Jets, another sad Stanley Cup-less franchise, they were brought into the NHL because apparently nobody was like, “Hey, why would we put a hockey team in the middle of the desert? That’s like, the dumbest thing ever.” Even with “The Great One” at the helm, the Coyotes were never able to crack the playoffs. Starting next season, the team will be rebranded as the Arizona Coyotes, although even branding themselves as the Detroit Red Wings wouldn’t do them much good at this point.
The Cubs are an obvious choice for this list. No matter how storied the franchise is, they still have 105 years of championship-lessness (they’re so bad we have to invent words) hanging over their heads. No matter how many Ryne Sandbergs, Ernie Banks’, Andre Dawsons, and Sammy Sosas pass through Wrigley, they still haven’t even played for the title since 1945. And while we’d happily watch a movie about the saga of poor Steve Bartman (and we have), the hour of sitting through a movie about the drudgeries of being a Cubs fan sounds unbearable.
New York Knicks
The Knicks have not always been completely hopeless – they won two titles in the ’70s behind what was essentially an all-star team with Willis Reed, Walt Frazier, Earl Monroe, and more – but the huge market and the unbelievable incompetence of owner James Dolan makes them a spectacular failure. The Knicks had another surge in the ’90s behind Pat Riley and Patrick Ewing, who was a finger roll away from glory, but have been very quiet since. Now, with Carmelo’s decision to stay or go looming, the Knicks could be entering “The Phil Jackson Era,” although they are probably more likely entering the “Another Good Thing That James Dolan Fucked Up Era.”
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