5 Gross Pumpkin-Flavored Products

They’ll totally squash your appetite.

They’ll totally squash your appetite.

Hey, pumpkin? Get over yourself. You think you’re pretty hot this time of the year, what with your lattes and your pies and your ever-present “look at me and my scawwwwwy carved expression” face populating every gourd-damn food product in the grocery store. Well, you know what? We’re over you. And these five gross pumpkin-flavored products are proof that you’ve taken it too far.

Pringles Pumpkin Pie Spice:

Once you pop, you can’t stop…gagging.

Pinnacle Pumpkin Pie Vodka:

We like our vodka like we like our women: strong, smooth and not smelling like they spent a day rolling around a pumpkin patch. Next!

Pumpkin Spice Soy Milk:

We didn’t think there was anything more repulsive than soy milk. We were wrong.

Hershey’s Kisses Pumpkin Spice:

Someone at Hershey’s had the bright idea to replace chocolate with squash. THINK ABOUT IT. If you’re handing these out to trick or treaters, you deserve to have your house egged.

Nummy Tum-Tum Pumpkin Dog Food:

You know what dogs like to eat? Unspecified canned meat. Used tampons. Other dogs’ turds. You know what they don’t like to eat? This disgusting abomination.

To see some food you’ll actually like, click here!

To skip the food and go straight to the girls, click here!