5 Guys RG3 Should Sign Autographs For, or Else

Our advice to RGIII is to get out the pen and avoid getting the crap kicked out of him like Cam Newton did.

RG3 is probably a Pro Bowler. Our advice is to sign autographs and avoid getting the crap kicked out of him like Cam Newton did last year. And be nice to Ray Lewis. 

(Photo: UPI / Ian Halperin / Landov | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012)

We’d never endorse being a total dick, but if you must, you should probably avoid doing it to guys whose job it already is to knock your brain out of you head. At last year’s Pro Bowl, then-rookie quarterback Cam Newton was a complete a-hole, turning down autograph and picture requests from other players and their children, and even disrespecting Ray Lewis – a very, very bad man. The result? AFC players pummeled Newton during the usually good-natured Pro Bowl, with Von Miller, Antonio Smith, and Richard Seymour all ramping up their intensity against the Carolina QB.

After breaking Newton’s rookie quarterback rushing record this week and almost single-handedly putting the normally putrid Redskins in the playoff hunt, Robert Griffin III will likely be making his own trip to Hawaii this season. Here are five Pro Bowl-caliber defensive dudes that RGIII could be facing. If they ask for an autograph, we’d recommend he oblige.

Derrick Johnson: LB, Kansas City Chiefs 

This 2011 All Pro is once again having a great season and currently leads the AFC with 86 tackles. Just hitting his prime at age 30, it’s not a ton of fun to get walloped by this dude.

J.J. Watt: DE, Houston Texans

Second in the league with 15.5 sacks, this Wisconsin product has already doled out more than $15,000 this season in fines for roughing the passer. His black (possibly bionic) arm brace makes him look like a Terminator, and he certainly plays like one.

Jairus Byrd: Safety, Buffalo Bills

Although he doesn’t post a physical threat to Griffin’s safety, Byrd could definitely sting his pride by picking off one of the young QB’s throws. Byrd already has six interceptions on the season and looks to be returning to his 2009 performance, when he led the league in picks.

Elvis Dumervil: DE, Denver Broncos 

If he wasn’t injured last year, Dumervil would have likely been taking his own shots at Newton last year in Hawaii. He’s already forced six fumbles this season, and at 6’0″ and 250 pounds, Dumervil eats steaks bigger than most quarterbacks.

Vince Wilfork: NT, New England Patriots 

The big fella might not do a ton of things that show up on the stat sheet but we all saw how dominant his 300+ pounds can be during the Mark Sanchez butt fumble incident on Thanksgiving night. Half of him could flatten Griffin. 

Find out what to expect from RGIII this week.

Or check out some girls of winter.