5 Things Bigger Than Jon Hamm’s Penis

Well timed publicity for the new season of Mad Men, or just well hung?

Well timed publicity for the new season of Mad Men, or just well hung? 

Photo Courtesy of Frank Ockenfels / AMC

We all know that Jon Hamm is the man. He’s handsome, he’s awesome as Don Draper, and he’s even goddamn hilarious. That’s why it’s just not fair that, supposedly, he also has a giant penis. Yesterday, news broke that during filming of the sixth season of AMC’s hit show—which premieres on April 7th—Hamm was told that he must wear underwear. Since pants were tight in the ’60s—the era in which the show takes place—the inside source claims that his “impressive anatomy” became distracting. To make ourselves feel better about our own little fellas, we decided to find five things that are definitely bigger than Jon’s junk. It wasn’t easy, but we think we might have done it…

An Imperial Star Destroyer

There’s enough room in one of these babies for Darth Vader and the Emperor to avoid each other for days if they want.

Burj Khalifa 

Photo: Ahmed Jadallah / Landov | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013

The world’s tallest skyscraper in downtown Dubai reaches 2,722 feet. We’re guessing whoever designed it doesn’t have Jon Hamm’s problem.

Kanye West’s ego 

Photo: Venturelli / WireImage | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013

Intangible? Sure. But still one of the most massive things in the known universe.

The explosion of Mega Maid in Spaceballs

When Lone Star hits the self-destruct button, the fireworks rival anything from the real Star Wars trilogy.

This hamburger

Courtesy of Black Bear Casino Resort

They like to eat in Chicago, and this thing is proof. Anybody got a TUMS?

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