5 Things We Learned From The 2013 NFL: Week 14

It was another record-breaking week in the NFL, people need to stop whining about a cold-weather Super Bowl, and math continues to kill dreams.

Photo: Justin Edmonds/ Getty Images | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013

Records Were Made To Be Broken

Like, all the time now. Matt Prater booted the longest field goal of all time; no points were scored on kicks in the crazy Lions/Eagles snowbowl (the first time that’s happened in 56 years); and the most TDs were scored in a single day in league history – 90.

So Stop Whining About The New Jersey Super Bowl

Every game not played in California or Florida this Sunday was played in blizzard or just straight freezing conditions…and they were amazing. Look at this picture! Yes, a bunch of old boring dudes will be saying, “This is FOOTBALL. This is HOW THE GAME IS MEANT TO BE PLAYED. Please CHANGE MY DIAPER IT’S FULL OF SELF-RIGHTEOUS POO,” but nostalgic nonsense aside, these games were actually fun! They were high scoring! There was actually passing! These freezing, snowy games weren’t just the defensive struggles you’d expect – instead, they combined all the awesomeness of the elements with the NFL’s recent offensive explosions. So when the Super Bowl comes to “New York” this year, fans should expect a great game regardless of the weather conditions (especially now that the host Giants are eliminated from contention!).

Math Is Brutally Destroying What Hope Remains For Bad Teams

With only three more weeks left in the season, only seven teams are technically eliminated from playoff contention. This speaks to the true genius of parity. It’s not that on any given Sunday anything can happen (though that’s true), it’s that for most of the season, every team has hope. Even with relatively dismal, losing records, a miracle can happen – “if team A wins, and team B ties, and we win seven straight…we can get a wild card!” It gives the less than ultra-die-hard fans a reason to watch: Hope. Cleveland (Cleveland!) could still possibly get a playoff berth. Cleveland! Yes, it’s perhaps even crueler that entire fan bases can’t just surrender to the inevitable in week three, but it makes for great drama.

Shanahan Is Probably Done

So, apparently the coach who made his star quarterback and future of the franchise play with a bum knee on turf that looked like the surface of the moon (thereby destroying his knee further and maybe screwing up his future in the league) didn’t like how the team owner was treating said star. Dan Snyder valued his extremely valuable amazing rookie QB too much! Shanahan is now rumored to have planned to quit at the end of the 2012 season, but with Griffin’s playoff injury (which, again, coach was definitely somewhat culpable for), Shanahan didn’t want it to look like he was running away because his star would be out or much diminished the next season. The only reason news like this leaks? Because Shanahan wants to look like a noble hero, staying with the team through adversity! When, really, he’s the kind of guy who hires his son to be an offensive coordinator (there couldn’t possibly be anyone better!) and thinks he’s more important than the first great QB to join a franchise in decades.

Seriously, Though, Snow Is Awesome

This is just so cool. How could you not want this? Or this

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