If your employer has a hot daughter and your career takes a distant backseat to every random impulse of your groin, then you should shoot for the stars and ask her on a date. Even if you work in a dimly lit video store and she’s 45 with three kids, there’s just something enchanting about the idea. However, there are just some bosses whose daughters you should never date, and here are five examples:
Men at Work
The Boss:PJ Jordan, Full Steam Magazine
His Daughter: Amy Jordan
Why is it that women we know we’re not supposed to date are always automatically sexier than anyone else? As well as being off limits, Men at Work's Amy is smoking hot, hilarious, quirky, and smart – basically, a girl you’d for whom you'd hammer nails through your favorite body parts just for a shot at a date. But her dad is played by J.K. Simmons, and that pretty much means you’re trying to date J. Jonah Jameson’s daughter. No. Fricking. Thank you.
The Boss: Tony Soprano, the Mafia (uh, we mean, sanitation)
His Daughter:Meadow Soprano
If you’re naïve as to what Mr. Soprano does for a living, a word of advice: You’d be better off not dating his daughter Meadow. Some of the boss-dads on this list might threaten to disembowel you and throw you in the river, but Tony would actually do it - and don’t think he’d spare you any punishment for screwing up in the workplace, either. Meadow might be smart, motivated, and beautiful, but ultimately she’s a member of a very special “family,” and they’re none too friendly to strangers.
The Boss: George Bluth, Bluth Company
His Daughter: Lindsay Bluth
Despite the fact that her father spends most his time in prison, you still wouldn’t want to get anywhere near Lindsay Bluth. Sure,
, but even if you do score a few dates with her, be prepared for her anal rapist husband to follow you everywhere…and he just blue himself.
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
Gordon Gekko, Wall Street
Winnie Gekko knows what a monster her father is, and you should, too, because Gordon Gekko will totally ruin your life. He’ll find your weaknesses - money, sex, general stupidity (or in our case, all three) - and use them to his advantage. Wait…you thought he was a pretty nice guy when he conceptualized money as a woman in bed? And you thought the way he talked about his daughter as a trading asset was endearing? Never mind, you’re just as much of a psychopath as he is. Have fun dating! Might we suggest NYC?
My Boss’s Daughter
Jack Taylor, unnamed publishing company
Jack Taylor is a tyrannical asshole who understands how expendable people in the publishing business are (something we’ve also noticed, although, sadly, from the other end). If he’ll fire a good researcher for making a bad cup of coffee, you better value your professional future more than you value bedding 1990s
for a few months. Remember, you can always just settle for
Photos by TBS