We never knew how much we secretly wanted Michael Bolton and Bob Dylan to work together...
6. Bone Thugs-n-Harmony & Phil Collins: “Home"
Not all unexpected collaborations are bad: Sometimes, they’re just puzzling. This 2003 single was criticized pretty heavily at the time, which isn’t all that surprising, considering the tiny crossover of people who are fans of both the guy who created the word “Sussudio” and, well, Bone Thugs. But the song, built around a sample of Phil Collins‘ “Take Me Home,” is actually kinda sweet. This wasn’t an ordinary sampling, though - Collins got involved with the re-imagining of the song, so much so that he actually appeared in the video for the song (if you can call “standing completely still in a black jacket and turtleneck” getting involved). He was even made an honorary member of the group, being dubbed Chrome Bone. Really.
5. Buzz Aldrin & Snoop Dogg: “Rocket Experience”
This unlikely pair actually came together on a Funny or Die song for a worthy cause: A portion of the proceeds from the song’s sales on iTunes went to the ShareSpace Foundation. The song itself, while nothing too special, can skate by on its sheer weirdness, plus the age-old tradition of laughing at old people trying to rap. And while there have been far worse offenders in that category, at least it’s educational, with Aldrin schooling us all with couplets like: “Moonwalking, such a trip, it’s so fine / When you’re walking in the lunar dust.” Did you know that rhymes don’t need to actually rhyme in space?
4. Charles Manson & The Beach Boys: “Never Learned Not to Love”
It’s no secret that Manson was an aspiring musician before he found his true calling. It’s also no secret that Manson forged a relationship with The Beach Boys after meeting drummer Dennis Wilson in 1968 - they hit it off so well they even lived together. Over time, though, Manson started to freak Wilson out, so he moved out and distanced himself as best he could from Manson. That didn’t stop him from bugging The Beach Boys to do him favors from time to time, and one of those was recording this song he wrote. The Beach Boys changed several of his lyrics - who’s to say if this could have been what pushed Manson over the edge?
3. Wyclef Jean & Kenny Rogers & Pharoahe Monch: “Kenny Rogers - Pharoahe Monch Dub Plate”
This remix of oddly titled “The Gambler” is, uh…an acquired taste. And, no, this wasn’t just a straight-up remix: Kenny Rogers actually recorded some original lyrics, presumably in some state of duress. They are, in full: “You gotta count your dub plates / Before you touch that turntable / If you run out of big tunes / That means your sound is done.” Because you should always take DJ advice from a country music star.
2. Bob Dylan & Michael Bolton: “Steel Bars”
It’s not like seeing Bob Dylan team up with Michael Bolton is that unusual - Dylan has based his career on doing controversial, unexpected things (whether it’s teaming with Victoria’s Secret or Starbucks), so Bolton is an extension of that. The resulting song of this pairing isn’t particularly noteworthy for him other than the fact it exists. But for Bolton? He said it was like having an out-of-body experience, saying in interviews that Dylan is “kind of our musical Shakespeare.” Dylan has, as always, been indecipherable on working with Bolton. Either way, all we know is this: Waiting in the dentist’s office just got a lot more “hip.”
1. Jack White & Insane Clown Posse: “Leck Mich Im Arsch”
“The music collaboration you have all been waiting for… 230 years in the making,” teased a video promoting the then-next entry in Jack White’s Third Man Records’ blues series. Why 230 years? Because it’s an homage to Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Why is it a collaboration we’ve all been waiting for? Because it’s sarcasm. But in a way, it makes a lot of sense to see Jack White team up with ICP: They’re both from Detroit, they both couldn’t give a shit about mainstream music fans, and, uh…yeah, that’s pretty much where the similarities end. We take it back, this one was fucking weird.