The 7 Most Hilariously Named Athletes

From Milton Bradley to Kim Yoo-Suk, each one is a champion (of having a crazy name).

From Milton Bradley to Kim Yoo-Suk, each one is a champion (of having a crazy name).

(Photo by Rob Tringali/Getty)

While there is no shortage of giggle-worthy athlete names (see: Dick Pole, DeWanna Boner, and Chubby Cox), we figured there was more to life than dirty jokes. Not much more, but at least a little bit more. So we went deep into the arsenal of hilariously named athletes and came out the other side with some competitors who probably had quite a tough time in high school.

Milton Bradley

Former MLBer Milton Bradley recently fell into the media CROSSFIRE again. His CHECKERed past is apparent as he can’t seem to CONNECT FOUR positive news items together without getting into some kind of a TWISTER. Bradley’s definitely had a rough go at THE GAME OF LIFE. Also, uh, HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS.

Longar Longar

You may laugh, but you know all those times that you forgot either your first or last name? Longar Longar doesn’t.

Sonny Sixkiller

With a name like that, it sounds like Sonny is a Cherokee from Oklahoma whose father worked his hands raw in the lumber yard. Eventually, he would have relocated to someplace like the Pacific Northwest, wear number six, and lead his team to a much improved six-win season. Wait, that’s actually what happened? Typical.

Kim Yoo-Suk

This South Korean pole vaulter is a tastemaker; not since “Rob Eura-Dick” has an athlete so successfully heckled himself with his own name.

Prapawadee Jaroenrattanatarakoon

We totally know how to pronounce this lady weightlifter’s name, we just don’t feel like doing it. You do it first. Because we said so.

Chief Kickingstallionsims

Is this an unusual name? Certainly. Is it “funny” that the 7’1, 265 lb center is named that? 7’1, you say? No, it is not funny at all.

Craphonso Thorpe

The only explanation (or at least the one we like the best) is that Thorpe’s father came to the hospital after smoking a boatload of ganja and said “You know what would be funny? Alphonso, but like, with crap instead.” Then he laughed for 18 minutes and went to the vending machine.

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