7 Video Game Currencies Stronger Than the U.S. Dollar

Think the dollar is weak against the euro? Pit it against the funny money found in these games and you’ll be crying all the way to the check-cashing place.

RUPEE(The Legend of Zelda)
Worth: $3 (U.S.)
Methodology: 100 rupees = magical shield. Crappy shield on eBay = $300
What It Means: U.S. Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke could learn a couple of things from Hyrule’s math whizzes, who have kept the region’s inflation rate at an astounding 0.00 percent for over 20 years.

GTA DOLLAR(Grand Theft Auto III)
Worth: $25 (U.S.)
Methodology: 100 GTA dollars = Colt .45 Pistol (M1911 A1). Custom model 1911 A1 pistol made by the Springfield Armory = $2,500
What It Means: If you do find a handgun for a hundred bucks in the real world, you’ll probably have to call Nerf for more ammo.

COIN(Super Mario Bros.)
Worth: $37,000 (U.S.)
Methodology: 100 coins = 1 life. Human life = $3.7 million, according to the Environmental Protection Agency
What It Means: What can we say? Girls dig guys with large coin boxes.

GOLD RING(Sonic the Hedgehog)
Worth: $103,000 (U.S.)
Methodology: 50 gold rings = A bonus-level shot at a chaos emerald as big as your head. The largest emerald ever found was 86,136 carats, valued at over $5.2 million. In today’s market, 50 real gold rings, or about $10,000 worth of gold, will net you a 3.9-carat emerald.
What It Means: On a side note, give one gold ring to your girlfriend and you unlock the bonus stage where everything you do leads to your life being over.

SIM DOLLAR(SimCity)
Worth: $611,000 (U.S.)
Methodology: 1,000 Sim dollars = baseball stadium. The new Washington Nationals stadium = $611 million
What It Means: Think the government is the only waste in D.C.? Each Nationals win in 2007 cost $13.70 in SimCity money, $8.4 million in today’s economy.

MINERAL(StarCraft)
Worth: $25 million (U.S.)
Methodology: 100 minerals = Terran Vespene gas refinery. A gas refinery in Arizona = $2.5 billion
What It Means: At this point, you might as well make a three-button suit out of your worthless money and light yourself on fire.

ADAM(BioShock)
Worth: Infinity
Methodology: 1 murdered Little Sister = 160 ADAM. 1 real murdered little sister = life in prison. You’ll probably meet about 160 Adams there, too. Some may make you call them “Big Daddy.”
What It Means: They use cigs as currency in the joint, so you’re better off with smokes than you are with C-notes anyway.

—Gerasimos Manolatos