Aging Action Stars’ One-Liners, Reimagined

“I need some Bengay, motherf***er!”

A Good Day to Die Hard hits theaters this week and, rather miraculously, 78-year-old* star Bruce Willis still manages to hold his own in the role of trigger-happy tough guy John McClane. Below, we suggest some updated, age-appropriate versions of the action movie catch phrases made famous by Willis, Arnold, and the rest of the real-life expendables. Hasta la vista, baby.

*Estimated age

Bruce Willis in Die Hard

Original line: “Yipee-ki-yay, motherfucker!”

New line: “I need some Bengay, motherfucker!”

Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator

Original line: “I’ll be back!”

New line: “Ow, my back!”

Al Pacino in Scarface

Original line: “Say hello to my little friend!”

New line: “Say hello to my Polydent!”

Mr. T in Rocky 3

Original line: “I pity the fool.”

New line: “I pity my stool.”

Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry

Original line: “Go ahead, make my day.”

New line: “Go ahead, make me pay—in mostly pennies and nickels.”

Ray Liotta in Goodfellas

Original Line: “As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster.”

New Line: “Yesterday is far back as I can remember.”

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