Alaska Brewery Proves That Beer Will Save Us All

We knew it was good for more than just stopping us feeling thirsty (and sober).

We knew it was good for more than just stopping us feeling thirsty (and sober).

Beer has done so many great things for mankind that it deserves some kind of congressional medal, or a special shout-out in an Academy Awards acceptance speech. It can make a “2” look like an “8”! It can turn meek and feeble men into hulking He-Men who believe they can fight a charging bull with hand-to-hand combat! It can resolve complicated, agonizing life questions with inspired, spur of the moment decisions! It…wait, now that we think about it, those are all terrible things that beer does. Goddamnit, beer! We trusted you! Still, now at least beer can atone for its crimes, because an Alaskan brewery has found a way to make a completely green beer (as in, environmentally friendly – it’s not St. Paddy’s Day just yet).

The Alaskan Brewing Co. of Alaska (Motto: We’re in Alaska!) powers their entire brewery with the “spent grain” they use to make their beer. That means that this brewery is being powered by the very ingredients that power their power-packed beer. If that doesn’t prove to you that beer possesses some kind of divine power that will help mankind achieve peace and prosperity, then you’re some kind of heretic. We’d suggest bringing back stoning to teach you a lesson, but our beer told us that would be wrong and detrimental to the cleansing of mankind’s collective soul. It’s also telling us that it wants pretzels.

Science Reinforces Our Alcoholism!

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