App Review: Temple Run

All the fun of being chased by monkeys with none of the poop throwing.

Temple Run

Price: Free

What’s it about?

Running, jumping, sliding, collecting coins and, of course, escaping from a pack of damn dirty apes wearing skull masks. You’re not given much in the way of backstory but it’s safe to assume that your character was doing a little pillaging where he shouldn’t have and pissed off the wrong set of simians. Like Wile E Coyote will tell you, the best part is the chase and that’s exactly what Temple Run is all about, being chased. You’ll have to jump over downed trees, slide under flaming hoops and choose your directions wisely unless you wanna be gorilla food.

How does it look?

We’re not gonna lie, the 3D modelling of characters is definitely sub par here, especially when compared to games like Infinity Blade or Arkham City Lockdown but the graphics are a side note compared to the intricate, frustrating and unusually addicting level design. You may be taking the same run over and over (it’s kinda the point of the game) but it never feels old and that’s a coup for an app because it means replay value stays as high as our cousin who works on a “farm” in Northern Cali.

How addictive is it?

You need to know that Temple Run is a game you can’t win, you can only hope to survive as long as possible. Usually, that would put us off a game after about 15 minutes of tearing out hair but that’s not the case here. Temple Run uses a system of reward points that can be redeemed for single-use items like an extra life, character power ups like invisibility or even entirely new characters. The game’s control system is completely dependent on your swiping and keeps you at a fixed momentum so your only job is to continue reacting to the level in front of you and try to ignore the massive pack of skull-faced arm-draggers that want to stomp you dead.

What’d they screw up?

We hate games that suck you in under the guise of being free and then wallop you with the expensive proposition of actually spending real money on points. Luckily, it’s only a minor issue in Temple Run where the points you buy are exactly the same as the ones you can earn in-game. The situation boils down to you working for your points vs you taking a shortcut and buying them and, at that point, if you’re a big enough sucker to pay for a cheat, you deserve to have you bank account drained.

Out of five?

4, minor drawbacks about real world money and graphics aside, Temple Run delivers one of the best gaming experiences on the iOS and does it for free. If there was a Betty Ford clinic for recovering App addicts, Temple Run would be the number one reason for people to check in.

If I like this, what else will I like? 

Berzerk Ball, Jetpack Joyride, getting chased by a monkey