These Ridiculously Handsome Animals Are Here To Steal Your Girl

Meet the beautiful beasts that are driving the ladies wild.


(Photo: Higashiyama Zoo and Botanical Gardens)

You know those times when the universe decides to play a sick cosmic joke on you, and life just doesn’t make sense? Like when you spill your iced coffee all over your car, or when you get sick on vacation? Or when a zoo animal is better-looking than you? Yeah, I hate it too.

But as strange as it is that there are some ridiculously handsome animals roaming the earth, they’re fascinating to look at. That’s why we rounded up this list of the world’s best-looking animals, so that we can all gape at them in awe of how little sense life makes.

1. Shabani the handsome gorilla

(Photo: Higashiyama Zoo and Botanical Gardens)

Just look at this gorilla. Look at him!! He’s basically a young Marlon Brando, reincarnated as a sexy primate. I don’t know how it’s genetically possible for a goddamn monkey to be this attractive, but sometimes nature just does things to mess with us.

If you’ve heard of this hunky monkey before, you’ve probably also heard that Japanese women are going completely gaga over him and flock to the zoo to ogle and spontaneously orgasm over an ape, prompting headlines on CNN like “Japanese women go ape over surprisingly handsome gorilla.” 

So pensive. So sophisticated. (Photo: Higashiyama Zoo and Botanical Gardens)
(Photo: Higashiyama Zoo and Botanical Gardens)

And you know what else Shabani prompted? Photoshop. The internet made this distinguished gorilla a Calvin Klein model. But it works, thanks to his buff bod and piercing gaze. Step aside, Biebs. Your replacement has arrived.

“I fling feces in my Calvins.”
Calvin Kong (hah)

We really should have known that 2016 would be the year a gorilla becomes a sex symbol, though, giving a whole new meaning to ‘tall, dark and handsome.’

2. Roger the jacked kangaroo

(Photo: Kangaroo Sanctuary)

Next on the list of ridiculously handsome animals is the disturbingly jacked kangaroo, Roger. This 200 pound Aussie hunk is an insanely buff marsupial who is definitely on his way to steal yo’ girl. He’s also more ripped than you can ever hope to be. 

(Photo: Kangaroo Sanctuary)

So, while you’re debating whether you should get baked and eat an entire pepperoni pizza or hit the gym tonight, kangaroo dundee over here is flexing his ripped chest and bulging biceps without even having a sense of self-awareness, let along knowing what a bench press is. There you go. Daily gym motivation.

Damn, Daddy.
(Photo: Kangaroo Sanctuary)

3. Frederik the Great

No, he isn’t a prince or duke of some European country. Frederik is a horse. But, he’s most handsome horse you’ll ever see in your life. I mean, he could probably become a prince or duke if he really wants to. He’s just that gorgeous.

Like a scene out of a L’oreal ad.

With a luxurious mane that billows in the wind like a well-conditioned curtain of silk, Frederik is the most beautiful horse on the goddamn planet. And guess what else? His hairstyle changes depending on his mood. On. His. Mood. A horse and his moods, amirite?

Which conditioner does he use? How does a horse have better hair than me? It’s a mystery, but a beautiful one at that. And strange. Ah, biology.

The sexy stallion even has his own fan page on Facebook, where devoted fans leave him loving comments like, “Frederik, you are the most beautiful horse that I have ever seen. Only God could of created such artistry. Breath taking & magnificent.”

“There will NEVER be a more majestic, handsome, sexy horse on the face of the earth. Never, ever. I wish I could just touch and ‘smell’ him just once,” Another fan wrote, proving that crazy horse people are creepier than crazy cat people. 

Other notable mentions include:

This emo llama:

(Photo: Reddit)

This seductive seal:

(Picture: Solent)

And finally, this other horse: