Calling Out Directors’ Fetishes Based on Their Movies
From Quentin Tarantino’s foot thing to Michael Bay’s love for full-lipped ladies, some guys like to let it all hang out.
We’ve all got preferences. Some guys dig tall ladies, other prefer short. Or, if you’re anything like us, you are partial to “anyone or anything that has a pulse.” But the one thing that most of us do have in common is that we don’t go around advertising who we’d like to fornicate with. That is, unless you are an extremely successful Hollywood director. These six auteurs double-back to their go-to type over and over again, not-so-subtly revealing their sexual weirdness. Hey, at least you know what to go for in their casting sessions.
James Cameron – Tall and Sinewy
(Photo: TriStar Pictures/ Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013)
You don’t even need to see Cameron’s movie to realize what his proclivities are; he’s made them more than clear with his real-life marriages to women like Linda Hamilton (above), Kathryn Bigelow, and current wife Suzy Amis. But just in case you still weren’t convinced where James likes to stick his $700 million private parts, his continued casting of the aforementioned Hamilton, Sigourney Weaver, and even Jamie Lee Curtis make it clearer. Hell, even his giant blue pretend-people were muscular and lanky. And with Avatar getting three more sequels, don’t count on seeing the end of these long ladies any time soon.
Michael Bay – Big Lips
(Photo: Paramount/ Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013)
The crown prince of KABOOM loves him some lips. While it’s not the grossest fetish to have, his repeated use of actresses like Liv Tyler, Jessica Biel, Megan Fox, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, and Bar Paly has revealed to the world that he’s a man of the mouth. In fact, many a fanboy found themselves up in arms when early reports indicated that Bay had even given the non-human star of Transformers some lips. Apparently even giant robot lips do it for this weirdo.
Alfred Hitchcock –Blonde
(Photo: Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013)
Leave it up to an ultra-classic director to have ultra-classic taste. Despite being married to a brunette for 54 years, Hitchcock’s continual hiring of blonde actresses like Janet Leigh, Doris Day, Tippi Hedren, and Grace Kelly (above) showed his affinity towards the fair-haired. Not that the big man was shy about it; Hitchcock once compared them to “Virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints.” Apparently when you make your living being super creepy, it comes pretty easy.
Woody Allen – Young
(Photo: Everett Collection | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013)
While a guy that likes younger women is not considered overwhelmingly sleazy (only, like, partly sleazy), flaunting your fascination with them certainly is, and when you attribute that to a guy who has the history that Allen has, you have a big old pile of gross. You do have to begrudgingly give the man credit, from Annie Hall (in which he is 11 years older than Keaton – with whom he had a real-life relationship) to Whatever Works (in which Larry David dates Evan Rachel Wood, his junior by 40 years), he has not backed off his adoration for the young’uns even a little.
Quentin Tarantino – Feet
(Photo Courtesy of Miramax)
This is one of the grosser ones, without a doubt. It’s not that QT has betrayed his tendencies by the way that he casts his movies or who he cavorts with in real life. Instead, he throws his foot fetish (ideally, Uma Thurman’s feet) in your face over and over again. Even if you are a foot guy (no judgments), it’s certainly not a turn-on to have someone else’s ideal dogs shoved into your face when you are trying to watch a nice family film about Nazi-slaughtering or slavery. It gets to the point where all you can think about is how this dude made this movie exclusively to get close to some lady’s trotters (again, ideally Uma Thurman’s).
George Lucas – Harrison Ford
(Photo: Everett Collection| Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013)
Honestly, can you blame him?