The Carolina Panthers Have a Hoverboard Problem

At least, they did.

As the Carolina Panthers prepare this week for Sunday’s NFC Championship game, they’ll be forced to do something that men of means would prefer to avoid: Walk on their own two feet. 

Blame it on coach Ron Rivera, who issued a blanket ban on hoverboards in the team’s facilities after finding players “drag-racing down the hallways.”

Come on, dad! But hey, at least the ban comes from a place of concern. “Did you see those things on YouTube blowing up and stuff? I mean, that’s what concerns me more than anything else, is something crazy happening,” Rivera told Black and Blue Review.

While Rivera can stop his players from shuffling between the weight room and the practice field on two wobbly wheels, he can’t do anything about them riding hoverbosrds at home, using them to commute to work or, in the case of stud quarterback Cam Newton, riding them in the middle of traffic in the dark of night.

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Good on Rivera, though: Hoverboards are garbage, and they don’t even hover.