David Letterman Is Enjoying the Indy 500 Enough For the Rest of Us

The comedy legend is making retirement awesome again.
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It's hard to think of a public figure who has made retirement look as fun as David Letterman has. The cranky grand old man of late night TV has made it clear he loves his beard and doesn't care what you think of it, and he's been spotted having more fun jogging than anyone else ever has. 

Saturday Letterman appeared on ESPN's Sports Center and immediately became our favorite proponent of partying in the morning. He's the middle man in Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing and an Indiana native, so naturally he's living for the Indy 500 this weekend and pulling for a victory by Maxim-sponsored driver Graham Rahal. He discussed Rahal's style with Sports Center in elegant language saying the driver races "like a wolf hunting a wounded elk." 

When asked what he'd do if his team lost this Indy 500, however, Letterman was deadpan: "If we don't win the hundredth running, I have every intention of faking my own death."

The punchline to the interview was perhaps Letterman's admission to the host—delivered with his inimitable timing and commemorated in the Vine below—"By the way, I'm drunk now."

We salute David Letterman as a role model—for epic beardedness, clever contingency plans in case of disaster, and for his commitment to the timeless joys of weekend morning drinking. He makes it look good.

h/t The Wrap