Deadpool Wants You to Stop What You’re Doing and Touch Yourself

You won’t go blind, we promise.

The Merc with the Mouth really wants you to look out for your boys.

In the latest Deadpool promo ahead of the movie’s February 12th release, America’s raunchiest anti-superhero makes a half-serious attempt at promotion for Ballboys and cancer awareness. Suited up and sitting cross-legged in his apartment, Wade Wilson takes a break from slicing and dicing up bad guys to urge dudes across the globe to stop what they’re doing and ‘touch themselves tonight, no butts’ and check for potentially cancerous lumps on your gooey bag. Considering that Deadpool finds himself dying of cancer at the beginning of his cinematic journey, this isn’t as random as you might think.

Still, it’s a relief to know that even Marvel characters masturbate sometimes, even if we didn’t really need another excuse to open up a few billion videos in Pornhub. We can only hope Wolverine doesn’t get too excited with those claws of his.