Dip These Balls in Your Drink

What, like you’ve never done that before?

What, like you’ve never done that before?

Say hello to Balls of Steel—which are, in fact, stainless steel drink coolers, and not a comically inaccurate euphemism for your testicles.

Not only will these puppies cool your drink and provide endless fodder for dick jokes, but all profits from sales are donated to the MD Anderson Cancer Center to support research for testicular cancer. And that means that at least one good thing might come out of your next bender, which is a lot more than we can say for this guy.

Unlike regular ice cubes, which are made from something called “water”—a dreadful substance that tastes like garbage, takes several weeks to freeze, and ultimately dilutes your top-shelf whiskey beyond recognition—Balls of Steel reach their optimal cooling temperature in just 90 minutes. Simply drop the balls into your drink, give ’em a stir with the old finger, and voila: a perfectly cold beverage, and no foul, watery after-taste.

Now, if only the same could be said about your man tonsils.

More booze!

Pretty girls!