Dog Movie Reviews: “Gravity”
Maxim’s movie-loving dogs give you their take on the super-tense space thriller. Also, a chewed-up slipper.
Out October 3, Rated PG-13
“Shit damn, son, this movie is tense. It’s a deceptively simple premise; a sort of Open Water in space, where two astronauts – George Clooney and Sandra Bullock – find themselves stranded when their shuttle gets trashed by space debris and desperately try to figure out a way to safety. It’s the kind of movie that could end up being either ridiculously contrived or endlessly boring, but it manages to avoid both pitfalls through the sheer level of ingenuity involved. Seriously, they should’ve just called the movie ‘Every Bad Thing That Could Possibly Happen To You In Space All At Once,’ and you’d have the concept, in a nutshell. The pace is relentless – peril follows peril at a truly impressive rate, with just enough time devoted to humanizing the characters enough that we actually care about whether or not they make it to the end credits. By the end of the movie I was actually dizzy from holding my breath at each new disaster that unfolded. Also, because I tend to run in circles when I’m stressed.”
“I loved this movie – it’s a genuinely thrilling adventure that never once relies on bullshit like aliens to keep it moving, keeping it all grounded in reality instead. I’m kind of a space nerd, so seeing the attention to detail that went into this thing was fantastic. Sure, the chain of events that unfolds it drastically unlikely, but it feels real enough to keep you hooked in. Bullock gives her best performance maybe ever, making her protagonist tough but sensitive in a way that would make Ellen Ripley proud. Clooney is pretty much Clooney, but for the character he’s playing here, that works just fine. I’d definitely recommend seeing this on the biggest screen you can find, and yes, for perhaps the first time ever, it’s worth shelling out the extra for 3D; I was so sucked into the whole premise that at one point, I actually threw my paws in front of my face when a particularly tense scene (of which there are too many to list) saw a piece of debris fly right out of the screen. I’m ashamed to say that the person sitting behind me may have got a bit more flying at his face than he bargained for as a result.”
“I WATCHED THIS MOVIE A WEEK AGO AND MY FACE HAS BEEN FROZEN IN STRESS LIKE THIS EVER SINCE. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TALK ME DOWN NOW?”
Photos by Warner Bros. Pictures