Dog Movie Reviews Special – “Star Trek Into Darkness”

What did our movie-loving hounds think of the Enterprise’s latest voyage?

Nick Leftley

May 17, 2013

What did our movie-loving hounds think of the Enterprise’s latest voyage?

All Photos Courtesy of Paramount Pictures

Out Now, Rated PG-13

Holly’s take:

“You can count me firmly in the ‘liked’ camp for J.J. Abrams’ take on Kirk and the gang – I was never much of a Star Trek fan before (I guess I’d seen a couple episodes here and there, and maybe that movie with the whales), but this version turned me around. Safe to say, if you dug the last movie, you’ll dig this one – it’s crazy action-packed, there are several solid laughs, and Spock still looks a hell of a lot like my ex-boyfriend Graham (he’s a Staffordshire Terrier). The story revolves around a terrorist attack on Star Fleet by none other than Sherlock’s Benedict Cumberbatch (who is impressively bulked up here, and genuinely looks like he could fuck you up pretty badly), and Kirk’s mission to bring him in. There are double and triple crosses, Kirk and Spock bicker, Bones gets peeved a lot, and people generally run around on exploding spaceships screaming stuff at each other about prime directives and photon torpedoes, all without it even seeming all that geeky. In short, it’s a big bag of intergalactic fun, and I think anyone who’s not a die-hard William Shatner fan will enjoy the hell out of it.”

Dexter’s take:

“This is, I have to say, a pretty enjoyable movie. The cast really does a first-rate job of channeling those classic characters without doing straight-up impersonations, and on that front, it’s a treat to watch. I do have a few pet peeves, though (Dog Fun Fact: Being pets, we simply call these “peeves”). I’m going to say ‘Spoiler Alert’ here, but trust me when I tell you that it is no spoiler whatsoever to say that this is a modern update of Star Trek II: Wrath Of Khan, i.e., the only film in the Trek franchise that comes anywhere close to being both critically and commercially respected. The problem with this is that the primary antagonist has nothing whatsoever in common with the original Khan besides his name, which made me think they’d have been better off just calling him something else altogether and avoiding the inevitably unfavorable comparisons. It doesn’t stop there – as fun as this movie was, there were just so many moments that called back to Wrath Of Khan, but with a signature J.J. Abrams twist (look, guys! It’s the exact same scene you remember, but with the characters reversed! Did we blow your mind??), that it grew increasingly distracting. The lowest moment was an utterly out-of-character Khan-referencing line from Spock that caused me to do a genuine, roaring belly-laugh in the middle of what was clearly intended to be the most touchingly emotional part of the whole movie (trust me – you’ll know it when you see it). And the thing is, that line totally didn’t need to be there – it was thrown in as fan service, and it just plain didn’t work. Overall, Into Darkness is still an enjoyable experience, but I’m hoping that, for the third installment, the franchise finds its own feet and tells a new story that doesn’t rely on wink-wink-nudge-nudge nostalgia to make it feel legitimate.”

Billie’s take:

“I LOVE STAR TREK! I’VE BEEN A FAN EVER SINCE I LEARNED I COULD SPEAK FLUENT KLINGON JUST BY REPEATING THE SOUNDS I MAKE WHEN I THROW UP HORSE MANURE INTO A SHOE.”