Don’t Look Directly Into These New NCAA Basketball Jerseys

It burns! It burns!

It burns! It burns!

Fresh on the heels of the premiere of their sleeved Golden State jersey, adidas introduced their new “adizero” uniform that six NCAA teams will take into the postseason. Cincy, Kansas, and Notre Dame will wear the traditionally-sleeveless kit while Baylor, UCLA, and Louisville will rock the sleeved version, which adidas claims will somehow “increase your mobility,” probably similar to how 16 shots of moonshine will “increase your sobriety.”

In any case, this uniforms are certainly an eyeful – what exactly your eyes are full of, we aren’t sure (maybe fire?) If having sleeves isn’t enough, the uniforms also come in shades typically only found in highlighters, matched by the shoes and “Speed socks” that the athletes will be wearing. However, the coup de grâce on these bad boys is the pattern on the shorts and sleeves, which reveals the sinister plot behind this gear. adidas claims that the pattern is a camouflage, but we know better.

These guys are trying to bring back zubaz

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