Don’t Read This If You’re Eating

Unless you’re eating cockroaches. In which case, sure, you might as well.

Unless you’re eating cockroaches. In which case, sure, you might as well.

If you’re unfamiliar with scaphism, you might want to remain so, because it’s the most disgusting and terrifying form of execution imaginable (really – only click that link if you’re prepared to feel nauseous and itchy for several days). The as-nice-as-we-can-make-it-sound version is, killing someone by having them slowly eaten alive from the inside out by insects, which is something we wouldn’t wish on our worst enemy (well, maybe Colin Winters from elementary school. We hate that guy!)

Unless you piss off the Sons Of Anarchy’s Native American ammo manufacturers, you’re unlikely to suffer this fate these days, which means that some enterprising individuals are having to look for other ways to kill themselves with bugs. People like 32-year old Edward Archbold, who tragically died on Friday night. Yes, there was eating involved, and yes, there were bugs. But in this case, it was Edward doing the eating, having just won a live cockroach-eating contest in South Florida.

It’s hard to know how to react to news like this besides trying not to projectile vomit while screaming, “Whyyyy?” More than anything, it’s intriguing to note that authorities are still not certain exactly what caused Archbold’s death, although it’s probably safe to assume that the paramedics completely refused to perform mouth to mouth on him.

For food that won’t wriggle on the way down, go here.

For pictures of nice things that will help take your mind off this gross article, go here.