The End is Nigh! Chipotle May Drop Guacamole Due to Climate Change
It’s time to imagine a world without your favorite green goop.
It’s a pretty well-established fact that climate change is happening, and between all the hurricanes and polar vortexes and ice-cap-less polar bears, it sucks. But when it starts to affect our Mexican food – that’s when things serious. According to Think Progress, Chipotle is warning investors that “extreme weather events associated with global climate change might eventually affect the availability of some of its ingredients,” specifically, those used in their guacamole.
Chipotle uses approximately 97,000 pounds of avocado a day to make their delicious, totally-worth-the-extra-two-dollars guacamole. Since scientists from Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory are predicting a 40 percent drop in avocado production over the next three decades (due to hotter temperatures, which will affect their growing grounds in California), their prices will undoubtedly increase, and Chipotle isn’t sure they’ll be able to fork over the extra cash. Plus, would you really pay an extra five dollars just for a scoop of that green goop?
So, until this doomsday scenario arrives, we suggest you gobble up as much guacamole as possible. Put it on your chips, in your burritos, on your eggs. Hell, give yourselves an avocado facial! There’s absolutely no point in trying to save the stuff, because avocados go bad real fast. And next time Greenpeace stops you on the street asking for a donation to save the penguins, just tell them to think of the avocados.