Yeah, it would be sweet to run a 5-minute mile now that the weather’s cooled down. But let’s be serious—you’re not going to give up your FIFA habit to start speed training anytime soon. So we've compiled professional advice from five different experts—doctor, Marine, hypnotist, coach and researcher—to find out how even the laziest guy can run faster (assuming you don’t have a lion chasing you). Think of these tips as the best things to happen to your game since you discovered cheats on Super Mario.
Tip 1: Take Walking Breaks
According to: The Doctor
No, we’re not shitting you. When you stop sprinting once every few minutes to take short power-walking breaks, you restore the good form that helps you go faster when you are running. The result: A reduced overall time—and the right to trash talk your slower friends.
SOURCE: Amy Powell, MD, Board of the American Medical Society for Sports Medicine
Tip 2: Wear Ankle Weights During Practice Runs
According to: The Marine
Marines realize pretty quickly that you can run way fucking faster when you’re not wearing combat boots. Since we’re guessing you don’t own a pair, you can use ankle weights instead. They might make you feel like you’re in a bad Richard Simmons video, but just jog in a secluded area—any potential embarrassment will pay off when you ditch the weights and suddenly have lightning speed.
SOURCE: Tatum Vayavananda, Corporal in the U.S. Marines
Tip 3: Picture Jumping Hurdles As You Go To Sleep
According to: The Sports Hypnotist
Like a Jedi mind trick, this will help you get over any mental hang-ups (i.e., the hurdles) that might be keeping you from setting a new personal record. Think it sounds like a load of BS? Doesn’t matter—according to our hypnotist, going through the motions will still increase your speed.
SOURCE: Craig Sigl, Sports Hypnotist
Tip 4: Run Downhill
According to: The Running Coach
You know that point where you lose control on a downward slope and you’re sure you look like an idiot? That’s also when your body’s in the form that’s best for channeling The Flash: straight, but leaning forward from the ankles. Try running this way a few times downhill, and that form will become second-nature when you’re pounding the pavement on level ground, too.
SOURCE: Blaine Moore, Marathon Coach
Tip 5: Listen to Fast-Paced Music
According to: The Researcher
If nothing else, play “Beat It” on repeat. Research shows that runners who listened to songs with between 120 and 140 beats per minute shaved an average of half a second off their 400 m race times—without even trying. Bonus: You’ll finally have a good excuse for why you have so much Michael Jackson on your iPod.
SOURCE: Dr. Costas Karageorghis, Brunel University Study