Five People You Will Meet During March Madness

March Madness Edition

The Guy “With a System”


“You see, statistically speaking, if an 11 seed goes up against a three seed, there’s a one-in-five chance that…Hey, where is everyone going?”

The Painted Fat Guy

“Hey, dude, can you grab an orange Sharpie, I need a touch-up under my left man tit.”

The Guy Who Came With Everyone From The Office and Has No Idea What’s Going On


“I hope the fellows in the blue-and-white costumes win. Touchdown!”

The Guy Who Keeps Trying to Sneak In On Your Table’s Order of Nachos

“Hey, I think someone is towing your car!…Crunch.”

The Guy Who Keeps Calling, “Traveling!” Out at the TV Set

“Oh, come on, how much do you have on the game, ref? Because I bet my kid’s college fund.”