The Gaming Bucket List: Armageddon Edition

We’re dying to get our hands on these fall releases.

So the world is gonna end right before the year is out, have you seen this? Have you heard about this? It’s ok though. Thanks to these games launching this fall, we can die happy.

Borderlands 2

Release Date:

September 18th

Vault Hunters, get ready for a reunion. Gearbox is pulling out the stops and


is coming with deeper skill trees, more character customizations, an unbelievably huge arsenal of weapons and the same dark humor we’ve come to expect and love of this FPSRPG. And if you happen to survive the apocalypse, it’ll even give you some experience on how to cope.


Release Date:

September 25th

Ironically, we may never see 2013 but, chances are, we will see


. Sidestepping the outcry against incremental upgrades that have plagued the Madden series,


’s claim of being the #1 sports franchise isn’t going anywhere. This year’s enhanced teammate AI and player physics are especially good examples of upgrades that actually make a game feel better. Plus, there’s no better way to get through the pearly gates than challenging St. Peter to a match, just make sure you let him play as Roma.


Release Date: October 9th

A highly anticipated video game that’s not part of a franchise is a rarity of late. Say hello to the Narwhal of this list; Dishonored. Set in turn-of-the-last-century London, it touts a plot that’s ripe with intrigue, innovative gameplay dynamics and a whole lot of first-person hand-to-hand melee combat. This may be your last chance to play an excellent, original game. Carpe Dishonored.

Forza Horizon

Release Date: October 23rd

Knowing that Forza – Xbox’s premiere racing sim – is expanding into the open-world Fast and Furious style gameplay that we love is great news. Kicking the bucket before digging into it would be significantly less good news. Luckily, that’s not the case and Horizon drops almost two months before Earth’s alleged expiration date. If we’re still around come Christmas, maybe send Microsoft Studios a thank you note.

Assassin’s Creed 3

Release Date: October 30th

Sending legion after legion of redcoats to meet their maker before you meet him yourself isn’t the only trick up AC3’s sleeve. There’s also an entirely separate, modern-day plotline filled with conspiracy, ancient secrets and a matrix-like explanation for contacting your dead relatives. Whoa man, what if this entirely reality was all just in your head and the end of the world was just you waking up? OooooooOOOooohhh.

Halo 4

Release Date:

November 6th

If there’s anybody who could help the human race survive a universe-ending threat, it’s Master Chief. Unlike

Black Ops

, there’s no question that

Halo 4

will be a gamechanger for the series, bringing back one of the most beloved heroes in all of video games and pitting him against new enemies in new worlds. We’ll say it, if you don’t play

Halo 4

, you don’t deserve salvation. And we’re not saving you a seat in Hell either.

Epic Mickey 2: The Power of Two

Just kidding, we’d actually prefer the cold hand of Death to this.

Call of Duty: Black Ops 2

Release Date: November 13th

Black Ops 2 comes at a pivotal point in the Call of Duty franchise as a war isn’t just being waged in the game but also among the die-hard COD community over whether or not the franchise has jumped the shark. Blops2 seems to be a major milestone for Call of Duty and the hinge on which its popularity will rely, so how could you not want to experience that for yourself? The fact that Black Ops 2 lets you run and gun in a future you may never personally experience is just an added bonus.

Hitman Absolution

Release Date: November 20th

Finally, Agent 47 returns. We were afraid that, if there is an afterlife, our last impression of Hitman would have been the only-average Timothy Olyphant movie. Fortunately that’s not the case and Square Enix is serving up an entirely new story, full of conspiracy and twists for us to while away our final days.


Release Date: 2012, hopefully before Armageddon

If there aren’t video gamepads with touchscreens in heaven then we don’t wanna go there. Whether or not Nintendo made a deal with the devil is irrelevant, we’ve gotten our hands on Ninty’s newest console and it’s good. So good that, when cynical jerks say “you can’t take it with you”, this is the IT they’re talking about.