This Guy Fieri-Themed Craigslist Sex Ad Is the Most Disturbing Thing You’ll See All Day

You’ll never look at a Texas melt the same way again.

They say children are the best at using their imagination enjoy themselves, and that a good portion of their creative innocence is lost in the transition to adulthood. To that, I say “bullshit!” It’s not that our imagination disappears as we age; we just channel it into sexual fantasy.

You know it’s true. We’ve all got ’em. And sometimes, a few of us might let our fantasies drift to the edge. The edge of a cliff. A cliff that sits high above the dark abyss of weird, fucked-up sexual desires. 

Well, this anonymous CraigsList user just went ahead and took a nose-dive straight off that cliff. According to this personal ad (captured below by Buzzfeed), some blonde Cassanova is searching for a nice woman to join him in some Guy Fieri-themed hanky-panky:

 If that isn’t the strangest thing you see today, you’re spending way too much time online. But for posterity, here’s a GIF of Fieri lapping away at a bottle of Pellegrino. Sorry.