Have Yourself A Grease-y Christmas

We know, we know, two Christmas articles today already and it’s only October.

We’d actually rather listen to John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John’s just announced Christmas album than these other ones.

When we heard Grease co-stars Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta were reuniting for a Christmas album, we thought to ourselves, why? What does Grease have to do with Christmas? And Travolta’s spray-painted ‘hair’ and the teacups on the cover certainly don’t make the album any more approachable. However, after a little online searching, we came to the conclusion that we’d much rather put on a pair of bobby socks and hop around the tree to Travolta’s crooning than listen to any of these albums:

Christmas on Death Row

Our first thought: an album recorded by inmates on death row? Much too grim. Only after reading the description did we realize it’s an album recorded by artists signed to Death Row Records. That’s…that’s still not very Christmassy.

VH1 Presents: RuPaul Ho Ho Ho

As festive and fun as this may be, it’s going to be too complicated to explain to grandma who’s actually singing.

Christmas Eve with Colonel Sanders

We don’t care if this is a collection of songs by real artists. Colonel Sanders looks dead on the album cover. Pass.

Tijuana Christmas

There’s something kind of sad about having Christmas dinner but feeling like we’re eating takeout. Also, is that guy covered in cocaine?

William Hung for the Holidays

This guy is- was- famous for being a terrible singer, why would anyone want to listen to him butcher our holiday classics?

Christmas N’ Memphis

We’re just confused and a little afraid.

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