How Would The Stars Of This Week’s Big Games Fare In Each Others’ Worlds?

Assassin’s Creed 4: Black Flag, Battlefield 4, and WWE2K14 all kick ass. But can they kick each others’ asses?

It’s one of the biggest weeks for video games this fall as Assassin’s Creed 4: Black Flag, Battlefield 4, and WWE2K14 are all vying for your love and money. We’ve had all three on heavy rotation and, in our late-night gaming sessions, the lines start to blur. Our exhaustion is your gain as we round robin AC4’s Edward Kenway, Battlefield 4’s Recker and the WWE’s stable of pro wrestlers in a virtual turf war. 

Black Flag at Battlefield 4

You don’t bring a knife to a gunfight and you definitely don’t bring an old-timey musket to a battlefield where jets are buzzing overhead and skyscrapers are falling. We believe in privateer-turned-pirate Edward Kenway’s assassin abilities but there’s just no such thing as stealth when your opponent can detect your heat signature.

WWE at Battlefield

Psssshhhh. No chance for the wrestlers here. The only way CM Punk is making it out of Battlefield alive is if all the soldiers are such big fans that they collectively decide to pretend like that Pepsi Plunge actually hurt.

WWE at Black Flag

Depending on which wrestlers you toss into the 18th century Caribbean pirate world of Black Flag, we think the hulking performers of the WWE would fare pretty damn well. After all, most of them are chasing a belt anyway, and what’s pirate booty but gold fashion accessories?

Battlefield at Black Flag

We’re singling out Recker here since he’s the main character of Battlefield’s story…and then we’re saying that Recker wouldn’t last five minutes in the world of Black Flag before looking like a shredded Jolly Roger. Salt water wreaks havoc on weapons tech and all that equipment would make him a better anchor than a sailor. Recker would be swabbing the poop deck in no time.

Battlefield at WWE

Recker might have the skills to survive in the squared circle but does he have the panache and showmanship to win over the crowd? We don’t imagine the stoic soldier doing much for the crowd’s amusement after seeing what he’s seen. Combine that with the fact that his Squad’s call sign, “Tombstone,” is already taken by a WWE legend, and we’re gonna go out on a limb to say that Recker should probably not quit his day job.

AC4 at WWE

If there was any video game character that would absolutely kill it in the WWE’s ring, it would be an assassin like Edward Kenway. Check it; He’s already got a killer costume, he could choose to have a pirate persona or an assassin persona (or do that thing where he switches halfway through his career), and he’s already got the acrobatic skills on lockdown. Jumping off the top rope is nothing when your daily routine is taking leaps of faith from a crow’s nest. We may actually have to call Vince McMahon on this one, WWE could definitely stand to have an assassin in their ranks.