Isiah Thomas Pickup Lines
From Detroit Bad Boy to Madison Square Garden Groper, Isiah Thomas’ sexual harassment conviction today ($11.6 million punitive damages!) made him a true playa-coach. Check out some of his favorite pickup lines.
“I’ll show you a well-hung jury.”
“Why don’t you let me appeal you out of that pants suit?”
“Let me foam-finger you.”
“Hey, at least I’m not Reggie Miller.”
“I’ll screw you like I screwed the Knicks’ payroll.”
“I’d be happy to assist you out of your dress and onto my penis.”
“Damn! And I thought Allan Houston was the biggest bust in Knicks history.”
“Gatorade isn’t the only thing that quenches thirst. Take my balls, for instance.”
“There’s a four-year, $30-million contract for you…in my pants!”
“Wanna have sex, fellow MSG employee?”
“The Knicks suck, and you should, too”
“I’m innocent until proven sexy!”
“Bitch, I might not give a screw about the long-suffering Knick fans, but I give a screw about you.”
“If you finish that paperwork, I’ll show you my new finger-roll technique. Bring lube.”
“But, seriously, how bad do you want to be a halftime dancer?”
“We should take a trip together. I already booked this place in Colorado that Kobe won’t shut up about.”
“All the other guys used to wear cups when I was playing, I had to wear a bowl.”
“If you have sex with me, I will give you money.”
“I’m way better at finding the clit than at finding a decent center.”
“Check out my pin, I care about autism. Now check out my dick.”
“Our new game plan: penetration, penetration, penetration.”
“I ain’t no one-Manute man.”
“Short shorts provide easy access…to orgasms.”
“Wanna make a quick $11.6 million?”
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