Why Old-Timey Jousting Could Be Coming to the Olympics

Rogue peasants are petitioning the IOC to include the sport.

A group of old English farts has launched a campaign to get the International Olympic Committee to recognize jousting as the newest Olympic sport. They hope to get it added in time for the 2020 Games in Tokyo. 

“We are being deadly serious,” said a spokesperson for English Heritage, a charity that oversees historic sites in a nation that loves old things. “It is an incredible spectator sport, a really fascinating thing to watch. The skill of the knight and the horses make it a great thing to witness.” 

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The group is selling jousting as more than just dudes on horses whacking the shit out of each other with long, pointy poles. English Heritage’s jousting expert—what a job!—told the Guardian, “You have to be strong, not just physically but mentally, so you can sit fearlessly in your saddle, face your rival and offer yourself as a target.”

The rules of jousting call for two people in full armor to race toward each other on horses. As they meet, the competitors hit each other in the chest with lances and are award points for style and force of their jabs.

If jousting is to make it to the 2020 Games, it will have to defeat sports such as skateboarding, surfing and climbing, which have also been offered as possibilities. And if it does, make sure you watch in 2020. No chance it’ll be around in 2024 after someone dies in Tokyo.