The five-time defending Sprint Cup champion and video game creator discusses his hypothetical last day on Earth.
How do you want to go out?
Just falling off a cliff is pretty boring nowadays. Going off my game, Anything With an Engine, it's gotta be a big, fiery explosion.
Any pit stops before you go?
Church. I gotta make sure I clean up for the Big Man upstairs!
Who's in your afterworld pit crew?
I've lost good friends in this sport, so Blaise Alexander and Ricky Hendrick would be there. And my two grandfathers.
You've been crowned Athlete of the Year. Any other titles you'd like to add before it's too late?
Winning the Coney Island hot dog-eating contest would be awesome.
What road music is stuck on repeat in hell?
When I was traveling with an old racing team, we only had one Foreigner tape to listen to. If I hear "Juke Box Hero," I'll know I went the wrong way.
What's playing at your funeral?
I want Will Ferrell singing "Dust in the Wind," like he did at Blue's funeral in Old School.
Any deathbed confessions?
I visited my mom's secret cash supply a couple of times. Hopefully my parents aren't reading this!
What's one thing you don't want anyone to find in your car after you're gone?
I've got some hair products in the glove box on my '49 Chevy Stepside--not very cool.
Name one athlete you would hate to be stuck in a car with for all of eternity.
That flamboyant figure skater Johnny Weir. I don't think we'd have much to talk about.
If Hollwood decided to make Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Jimmie Johnson, who would play you?
I'm a big Eastbound & Down fan, so I'd want to get Kenny Powers on-screen stompin' around like a badass.
When did you experience the worst road rage?
It always amazes me when I'm on the road and another driver cuts me off. I just laugh and think, If you only knew who you were messing with.
If you could come back and spy on someone who's still alive, who would it be and why?
My daughter. I'd make sure she's keeping her butt in line and scare off all the boys.
Got any last words?
"Oh shit." That's probably what I'll be saying, given my profession!