Legendary Manager of Manchester United Sir Alex Ferguson Throws In The Towel

Fergie will be absent from Old Trafford next season – here’s why that matters.

Fergie will be absent from Old Trafford next season – here’s why that matters.

Despite some confused Twitter-ers, a man who has never (at least publicly) sung about his “humps,” English Premier League manager Sir Alex Ferguson, is hanging up his coaching pants after 26 ½ years at the helm of Man United. The manager is one of the most decorated soccer managers, hauling in 38 trophies for the team – enough silverware to make Martha Stewart blush.

Ferguson was generally composed on the touchline, but players (and often referees) on the wrong end of his temper would end up with “the hairdryer treatment,” an intense and hot outburst from the Scot’s face hole. David Beckham, a man who is no stranger to a hairdryer, attributed Sir Alex’s players’ success to fear of these outbursts. “The fear of getting the hairdryer was the reason why we all played so well. He was a manager you wanted to do well for.”

Slipping his feet into Ferguson’s monstrous shoes will be David Moyes, a fellow Scot who has done lots with little at perennial mid-tabler Everton. His name was mentioned almost immediately after Sir Alex announced retirement, likely because he had endorsed Moyes to succeed him years before. His official appointment came today, to almost complete approval from fans, media, and players.

This news also has consequences for Wayne Rooney, who had previously asked for a move away from Man United, a move that Alex Ferguson reportedly would not grant. And although the club is reporting that Rooney may stay on, the forward removed “Manchester United Player” from his Twitter bio today, a move that any 14-year-old girl knows cut deepest of all.

Whatever Man U’s future holds, their past – as a powerhouse and a consistent annoyance to all those not in red – was due in its entirety to the splotchy face and brilliant mind of Alex Ferguson. 

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