With apologies to Larry David, there is no comic more hysterically put-upon than Louis C.K. You may remember his now-legendary rant "Everything is amazing, and nobody is happy" from a few years ago, where he went off on, well, how everything is amazing and nobody is happy. Whereas back then he was extolling the wonders of technology, last night on Conan he complained about it, explaining why he won't give his daughters smartphones in a rant involving texting, Bruce Springsteen, driving, and serotonin. And some other stuff, too. It's typically, brilliantly hilarious. Louis, please never get happy.
Photos by Fox