I’ve never quite understood the purpose of engagement photos. Two people who are porking (or not) are about to have a big party so the state can throw some tax breaks their way. So the happy couple gets together in front of soft lighting and natural beauty and smizes awkwardly while pushing away the crushing thoughts of whether or not monogamy is sustainable. And for what—a few dozen likes on Facebook?
Engagement photos somehow slipped into the mighty framework of the wedding industrial complex, and they’re here to stay. That doesn’t mean they’re not ripe for parody, as San Francisco-based writer David Sikorski set out to prove.
“With so many domesticated photos of staged afternoon picnics in the park or holding hands running along the beach, I figured people would be interested in sharing the happiness of my own current love life situation as well,” he told BuzzFeed.
And what, praytell, is his current love life situation? One that many of us share with him: A deep, unwavering affection for burritos.
David, hand-in-foil with his partner, a carne asada burrito from Taqueria La Cumbre, recreated many tropes from the engagement photos we all know too well. He romped on the beach with it, sat in the park, and gazed lovingly at its beautiful rice and beans.
As for his wedding vows, may we suggest going with the classic? Burritos are patient, burritos are kind. They do not envy, they do not boast, they are not proud. They do not dishonor others, they are not self-seeking, they are not easily angered, they do not charge extra for guac.
Photos by Kristina Bakrevski - @kristinabaky; David Sikorski - @_davidsikorski; IMP Features