After an epic and dark outing in the original Mass Effect trilogy, we’re happy to see the lighter side of things with Mass Effect Andromeda. If only it were intentional. Andromeda may be the next step for the ME series but it’s a huge leap backwards for BioWare’s darling franchise, littered with weird animations, funny walks, herky-jerky character models and oddball dialogue.
Mass Effect Andromeda isn’t supposed to be hilarious--it has genuine high points of gorgeous intergalactic landscapes and exciting action sequences buried in the latter half of the game - but, for a Triple-A game from a huge publisher like EA, it sure does feel like a blooper reel often.
Check out what we mean with this round up of the weirdest moments of Mass Effect Andromeda the internet has seen.
1. We've watched Ryder throw this punch so many times now that we almost believe she connects with that right hook. She doesn't, not even close. This might have been acceptable from a B-Movie stuntman who was told to miss by a mile just to make absolutely positive they didn't punch the star of the show. Only this is digital and none of what you see here makes any fucking sense.
2. We know that goosestepping is a march with unbent knees but, in our minds, this is exactly what goosestepping should mean...mainly because constipated-dog-stepping just doesn't have the same ring to it.
3. You know how your lips purse out an inch beyond your face when you talk? Yeah, we don't either. Maybe it's the lack of gravity in space or maybe an airlock wasn't quite sealed tight enough. Either way, it sure looks like all the lips in this animation are being sucked out into the vacuum of space.
4. We're gonna chalk this one up to the fact that Ryder was in cryosleep for six hundred years. We assume that's enough time for anyone to forget how to emote with their face, especially the eyes and eyebrow parts of the face.
5. Of course, facial expressions are only half the battle. Mass Effect Andromeda pits you against the mysteries of alien worlds and their precursor inhabitants. We didn't realize that you'd also be facing off against the same demon that possessed the girl in The Exorcist.
6. Here we see Ryder giving new meaning to having a disarming smile.
7. Mass Effect Andromeda likes to keep it sexy. Like previous ME games, you're perpetually one correct comment away from coitus with any of the game's characters. When you're surrounded by characters who waggle their booties in such a seductive way, it's no wonder everyone on this ship is bumping uglies.
It's not just us who are baffled by Bioware's handling of such a precious franchise. The internet has also taken up arms with the way Mass Effect Andromeda, with Twitter and Reddit swamped with posts like these...
...and that's not a bad thing. Mass Effect Andromeda's gameplay hearkens back to parts of the ME series that will make the die-hard fans of the franchise happy, why not also capitalize on the fan base that also misses 90s sitcoms?
Speaking of year's past, it's a good thing that this comparison animation is labeled because, on a glance, you'd never actually know which of these animations was a decade old and which one was masquerading as a brand-new, $60 game.
Then again, maybe it's our own nostalgia kicking in. After all, was the Mass Effect series ever that good looking? Jack Shepherd says...no. No it wasn't.