Maxim Celebrates The Simpsons’ Moe

As The Simpsons’ historic 500th episode airs, we pay tribute to bartender Moe Szyslak, a loser of grubbily epic proportions.

As The Simpsons’ historic 500th episode airs, we pay tribute to bartender Moe Szyslak, a loser of grubbily epic proportions.



Photo: Courtesy of FOX | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

Moe-volution


Hank Azaria (who also voices Apu, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, and Carl) provides Moe’s distinctive nasal moans. Moe’s simian features were supposedly modeled after a gorilla. A really angry, pathetic gorilla.



Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes


Over the years Moe’s Tavern has seen various transformations.

Moe’s Cavern


A reference to Liverpool’s Cavern Club, where the Beatles got their start.

m


Postmodern yuppie bar

Uncle Moe’sFamily Feedbag


Family restaurant. “Here I go, here I am, Uncle Moe, thank you, ma’am!”

The Nag and Weasel


English pub



Photo: Courtesy of FOX | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

Plastic Fantastic


In “Pygmoelian,” Moe gets plastic surgery and becomes a lothario. “It’s like I’ve gone to heaven. Wait a minute. I died on the operating table, didn’t I?”



How to Make a “Flaming Moe”


Our lawyers say we can’t encourage you to make this. Consider yourself warned.


1 oz. blackberry liqueur


1 oz. brandy


1 oz. peppermint schnapps


1 oz. sloe gin


1 oz. strawberry juice


1 oz. cough syrup


Mix ingredients in a tall glass and ignite. Extinguish eyebrows.



Name Shame


Bart’s greatest joy is prank-calling Moe.

Moe: Moe’s Tavern, Moe speaking.

Bart: Uh, yes, I’m looking for a Mrs. O’Problem? First name Bea.

Moe: Uh, yeah, just a minute, I’ll check. [calls] Uh, Bea O’Pro-blem? Bea O’Problem! Come on, guys, do I have a B.O. problem here?!

Barney: You sure do! [bar patrons laugh]

Moe: Oh…[to phone] It’s you, isn’t it!

Bart: [laughs]

Moe: Listen, you. When I get ahold of you, I’m going to use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains!



Photo: Courtesy of FOX | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2012

True Lies


Moe taking a lie detector test is perhaps his funniest (and saddest) moment.

Eddie: Do you hold a grudge against Mont­gomery Burns?

Moe: No.


[machine buzzes]

Moe: All right, maybe I did. But I didn’t shoot him.


[machine dings]

Eddie: Checks out. OK, sir. You’re free to go.

Moe: Good, ’cause I got a hot date tonight.


[buzz]

Moe: A date.


[buzz]

Moe: Dinner with friends.


[buzz]

Moe: Dinner alone.


[buzz]

Moe: Watching TV alone.


[buzz]

Moe: All right! I’m going to sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria’s Secret catalog.


[buzz]

Moe: Sears catalog.


[ding]

Moe: Now would you unhook this already, please? I don’t deserve this kind of shabby treatment.


[buzz]

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Maxim Staff