Michael Douglas Claims He Got Cancer From Oral Sex

The screen legend has had some dangerous sex scenes in the past, but this is ridiculous.

The screen legend has had some dangerous sex scenes in the past, but this is ridiculous.

Photo: Sven Hoogerhuis / Retna Ltd. | Licensed to Alpha Media Group 2013

Speaking to The Guardian newspaper in the UK last week, Michael Douglas revealed that the cause of the throat cancer that he battled from August, 2010 to January, 2011 was not smoking or drinking, but oral sex. 

“Without wanting to get too specific, this particular cancer is caused by HPV, which actually comes about from cunnilingus,” the 68-year-old star explained. Douglas doesn’t say who he was going down on, but the actor is still married to Catherine Zeta-Jones, so draw your own conclusions. He also assumed the stress caused by his son Cameron’s imprisonment on drug charges may have contributed to his illness. 

“I did worry if the stress caused by my son’s incarceration didn’t help trigger it. But yeah, it’s a sexually transmitted disease that causes cancer,” said Douglas. “And if you have it, cunnilingus is also the best cure for it.” Um, good for Catherine?

Of course, Douglas is no stranger to the dark side of sex. Starting with Fatal Attraction in 1987, he played a series of characters whose inability to help themselves sexually lands them in hot water…or in Fatal Attraction‘s case, lands his daughter’s pet bunny in hot water. So where does cancer rank on the “Douglas Sex Danger Scale”? Let’s take a look at the actor’s five most dangerous sex acts.

Fatal Attraction, (1987)

When Douglas’ Dan Gallagher’s started schtupping Glen Close’s Alex Forrest, he thought it was a simple fling. Surprise! She’s a stage 5 clinger, and spends the rest of the movie terrorizing Dan and his family (and, of course, the family’s pet bunny).

On the Douglas Sex Danger Scale: 6

The sex itself isn’t so dangerous, but it was the first step on a path that nearly ends with Alex murdering Dan’s wife. Murder? Pretty dangerous.

Basic Instinct (1992)

Douglas plays San Francisco homicide detective Nick Curran, who begins an ill-advised affair with crime novelist Catherine Tramell, played by Sharon Stone. That Tramell is the main suspect in the case Curran’s investigating should have been a warning sign. On the other hand, she is insanely hot.

On the Douglas Sex Danger Scale: 8

The sex here really was dangerous, as Stone’s character had a tendency to, you know, MURDER her partners. The film ends with her nearly (maybe) stabbing Curran with an ice pick. 

Disclosure (1994)

Based on a novel by Michael Crichton and directed by Barry Levinson, this one again sees Douglas playing a dude whose sexual appetites nearly get the better of him. In this case, Demi Moore plays his character’s boss, who accuses him of sexual harassment when he resists her advances. 

On the Douglas Sex Danger Scale: 4

It’s not like Douglas’ life is ever in danger, though his livelihood sure is. He nearly loses his job, but if he had succumbed to Moore’s come-ons, who knows how things would have played out.

Wonder Boys (2000)

We don’t get to actually see any of the sex between Douglas’ college professor and Francis McDormand, who plays the Dean’s wife, with whom Douglas happens to be having yet another affair. Douglas should know by now that affairs rarely end well, especially when it’s with your boss’ wife.

On the Douglas Sex Danger Scale: 1

As we discover at the end of the movie, Douglas and McDormand’s characters live happily ever after.

Danger South of the Border or Cunnilingus Cancerous (2010)

Who knows how this went down (so to speak) and with whom, but Douglas certainly seems convinced that cunnilingus caused the throat cancer which nearly killed him a few years ago.

On the Douglas Sex Danger Scale: 10

It nearly killed him!

Behind the Candelabra (2013)

Steven Soderbergh’s terrific Liberace bio-pic is full of all sorts of kinky sex between Douglas, as Liberace, and Matt Damon, as his lover, partner, chauffeur, doppelganger. Though the sex itself is mostly just kinky, not dangerous, Liberace’s insistence on getting it on in a public sex shop could have led to a major scandal.

On the Douglas Sex Danger Scale: 7

It’s tough to say what would have happened to Liberace’s career had he been outed, but watching this movie, it’s shocking he was able to stay in closet for so long. On a serious not, Liberace ultimately died of AIDS-related illness, so his sexual proclivities were certainly not safe.

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