Monday Morning Sports Rant: March 21, 2011

Maxim chats with sports blogger Drew Magary of Deadspin and Kissing Suzy Kolber about this weekend’s athletic hits and misses.

Maxim chats with sports blogger Drew Magary of Deadspinand Kissing Suzy Kolber about this weekend’s athletic hits and misses.

maxim: First question: What’s worse, hearing someone talk about their bracket, or hearing someone recount the “crazy” dream they had last night?

bigdaddydrew: I actually like hearing people talk about their bracket.

I’m fine with people talking about brackets and their fantasy team.

I’m much more against all those people who are like I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR BRACKET! YOU SHOULD GO TO JAIL FOR TELLING ME ABOUT IT.

Why fill out a bracket if you can’t bitch about it?

maxim: In that case: THANKS A LOT, BIG EAST.

bigdaddydrew: Well really, you get what you get if you picked Pitt to go very far.

I’m very angry at myself for picking Pitt to beat Butler.

“Hey, here’s a team that always chokes versus a team that likes to come up big in the tourney!”

Oh, gimme Pitt! That’s a no-brainer!

By the way, I hope the VCU kids send Jay Bilas a shoebox filled with diarrhea.

maxim: Yup, I had Pitt in the final.

Oh, and Louisville upsetting Kansas hahahaha. Ha.

bigdaddydrew: I had Pitt in the final too.

It was the horrible “They’re due!” mentality.

Which is always wrong.

I’d like to see some kind of stat on bracket participation.

I wonder if it’s down.

I entered no paid pool this year and the reason I did it is that I was tired of losing money.

It’s like the NFL suicide pool.

At some point, you’re like, “Wait, why do I keep volunteering to lose money like this?”

It’s not like betting on a straight point spread.

The odds are a hundred times worse.

I have to think people are starting to realize that and just entering a random no-money pool instead.

Why not go for Powerball instead?

It’s a buck, and the payoff is considerably nicer. Much wiser way to waste money

maxim: Participation is definitely down in our office. I think winning the whole thing means you can take the four sad sacks who lost to a fancy salad-and-sandwich lunch.

bigdaddydrew: I know a guy whose office pool is $20.

Which is insane.

But any big money pool where you have to pay $50 or $100 to enter or whatever is lunacy.

I think that’s a big banker thing.


Who’s in your revised final game now?

bigdaddydrew: Well, I still have UConn winning it all.

That should last about four more days.

I’ll say UConn-KU.

Even with Ohio State destroying the universe right now.

Can I ask you a question?

Was the end of Butler-Pitt good, or bad?

Like it was memorable. But was that because it was so monumentally dumb?

Does a memorable event get discounted because of WHY it’s memorable? Or does that not mater?

Because the reaction was so polarized.

It was, “That’s the craziest thing I’ve ever seen!”

And then also, “That was retarded! THE REFS RUINED IT!”

And I have no clue which is right and which is wrong.

But that game proves that you can make even the most glaring mistake in the middle of a game just because your brain, for whatever reason, can go dead at the worst possible time.

I’ve been there, man.

You go out on the field, or on the court, and what seems like a simple action completely passes you by.

maxim: Did you blow the state finals for the Ramapo Raiders, dude (or wherever you went to high school)??

bigdaddydrew: No.

I was a football benchwarmer.

Every time I got sent out onto the field, my mind went to complete mush.

I barely knew how to put one foot in front of the other.

Sometimes, the moment overwhelms you.

maxim: So, Barry Bonds trial starts this week. Is the world just going to heave a big sigh at this whole thing? As in, who even cares anymore?

bigdaddydrew: I think so.

And the reason is why is he isn’t playing anymore.

If he were still playing, it would be a huge deal.

But the second you stop playing, you become essentially worthless to sports fans.

And Bonds is a weird case because he never quit.

And no one wanted him, so he just evaporated. And whether you hate him or not, it’s odd to think a career that monumental ended like a midseason TV cancellation.

maxim: Well and there’s no mystery to the trial. It’s not like huge secrets are going to be revealed.

Did he perjure himself? Um…yes. There we go. Let’s save ourselves the two weeks of trouble.

bigdaddydrew: Right. Trials are inherently boring.

Even the OJ trial.

Anyone who was around back then could tell you that trial was incredibly boring.

Just day after day of legal bullshit.

They couldn’t even deliver the verdict in an exciting way.

NUHHHGILTY (OJ fist-pump)